Month: April 2015

The Nurturing Voice

Last week’s Intuitive Tuesday post was about dealing with “the voice“. If you haven’t read it, I encourage you to, as it will help explain today’s post. To summarize it though, “the voice” is all the negative and judgemental thoughts that we still have about food, even when we have consciously made the decision to stop restricting it.

Today I want to talk about a different kind of voice.

But first – not sure what I am talking about when I mention Intuitive Tuesday? I explain it all here.

intuitive tuesday

It is hard to get rid of the negative voices in our head, if we don’t replace them with something positive. We are going to have thoughts, we can’t clear our mind completely, so we need to work at making these thoughts positive, and helpful, and encouraging, and – healthy.

The other day at the gym I heard a mom-friend of mine talking about the diet plan that she was on. She explained how hard she was on herself when it came to her appearance and what she allowed herself to eat. I knew exactly where she was coming from, and I really felt for her. I am a type A perfectionist. I am great at placing really high expectations on myself, and then beating myself up if I don’t achieve what I had hoped to. From what I have learned, a lot of dieters, and restrictive eaters have this same trait.

Being a perfectionist isn’t a bad thing. It means you strive for excellence, and that you try your best at everything you do. A lot of the world’s most creative and successful people were/are perfectionists. There is a downside though, and that is what happens when our expectations are too high, and we can’t quite meat them. Failure to a perfectionist means that one little thing went wrong. If you mess up even in one area, you have messed up in everything.

Dieting is very hard for a perfectionist. This is because eating even one bite of a restricted food results in massive failure. The negative voices that ensue once this kind of failure takes place are crazy. For some reason we think that beating ourselves up when we aren’t perfect will make us better. We can’t accept, or even love ourselves until we reach the ultimate place of perfection and therefore happiness. I really felt for my friend because I knew what she meant when she said she was hard on herself. The inner struggle that takes place around food is tough.

The book Intuitive Eating suggests developing a voice within yourself called “The Nurturer”. The book explains that this voice “has the ability to reassure you that you’re okay and that everything will turn out fine” p 104. You have probably heard the advice that you should treat your inner self like how you would treat your best friend. That is what this voice is all about.

For example, rather than getting mad at yourself for eating something restricted, like a cookie, this positive voice reminds us that “it is okay to have a cookie. Eating a cookie is normal” (p. 104). Simply eating a cookie would have been a surefire way to set off a binge for me in the past. I felt guilty for eating it, and listened to the voices in my head that made me feel extremely bad. I would then rebel against them and eat everything I could find making me feel 1000 times worse. Developing an inner voice of reason, patience and understanding helped to ward off these crazy episodes.

I like to focus on positive thoughts, and reason, when the negative ones start surfacing. I try to counter the condemning voices with positive ones. If I start to feel bad about what I am eating, I like to focus on all the good things that intuitive eating as done for me, and all the bad things that dieting has. When it comes to body image, I like to remind myself of what my body does for me on a daily basis. It doesn’t matter so much that my stomach isn’t flat, when I think about how it carried around a baby for 9 months! Reminding myself that my legs allowed me to go for a run, or go to work, or even just perform daily tasks without hindering me, makes me thankful for them, not critical of their size or shape.

In short, what I really want to say today is to be nice to yourself. Intuitive eating is hard. It is something that you can’t be perfect in. Eating in general is hard. It is something that you can’t be perfect in, and as long as you set expectations on yourself for be perfect, you will fail. Your body won’t ever be perfect. Your athletic ability won’t be perfect. Even if you were to achieve your “perfect ideals” it wouldn’t make you more happy.

When you have negative thoughts about food, or body image, or even life in general, try to counter them with positive and affirming thoughts. Over time your inner thought life will be so much more positive! This is something that will actually make you more happy!

I am going to challenge myself to this too. I could use some more happiness in my life!

 

What are some positive thoughts that you use to counter negative ones?

Are you a perfectionist? Do you see this as a good or bad personality trait? I am a perfectionist to the extreme, and I see it as a good thing, that can also go very bad if I’m not careful! 

April 24th Meal Plan

If you are a regular reader around here, you may have noticed that I have been a lot less present on the blog lately. I always have good intentions to write posts, but life has been getting in the way. I guess it is more like I have been choosing other things instead of blogging. Lately my choices have been running, working, cleaning, laundry, and watching Netflix.

Half marathon training is in full effect now. This weekend I run 10 miles, which is the longest distance I will be running before my race. My half marathon is on May 17th, so I still have three long runs left – I will be alternating 10 mile and 9 mile runs until it gets here.

My short runs are now 5 miles long. This may not sound long to an experienced runner, but it feels long to my tired legs. I am spending almost 2.5 hours running a week, and doing another 2 hours of cross training and almost 2.5 hours of strength training. I am happy that all this training will only be happening for a few more weeks. I can’t imagine training for a full marathon! Not that I am complaining – I am pretty excited!

Enough running talk – I wanted to stop in today with a meal plan for the week. I didn’t get to sharing one last week. Teething (Lochlyn is getting four teeth at once) + 2 days of extra work + all the running = one way too tired mama. I missed having a meal plan, and want to bring it back. Meals the past week weren’t the greatest.

lochlyn eating spoon

Breakfast Ideas

  • Wholewheat Blueberry Pancakes with chopped strawberries
  • Green smoothie and toast
  • Apple cheddar omelette (Lochlyn loves this!)
  • Overnight oats
  • Egg white oatmeal
  • Egg Scramble with all the leftover veggies, rice, and whatever else i can fin din the fridge!

Lunch Ideas

I seriously haven’t had much of an appetite at lunch time lately. Nothing just sounds all that good. I have mostly been eating hummus wraps but I would like to change that. The thing is, I haven’t been feeling like taking the time to prepare anything. I had a really hard time even finding recipes that appealed to me. I typically try to eat meat-free at lunch to save a little cash. Ideas?

  • Warm tofu salad with feta
  • Edamame hummus salad

Dinner Ideas

Snacks

  • veggies and hummus/tzatziki
  • smoothies
  • I want to whip up a batch of muffins – maybe I will find the time!

And that’s a wrap. I am super hungry. I am going to go make some breakfast. I have some super ripe bananas sitting on the counter that need to be made into some egg white oatmeal ASAP.

eating funny face lochlyn

Have a great weekend!

 

I need some lunch ideas – please inspire me!

Runners that use Gu to fuel long runs/races – What is your favourite flavour? I am trying to figure out what flavours to use for my half. So far I am liking Espresso Love and Caramel Macchiato. This surprises me as I thought I would be all about the fruity flavours.

 

Let me Never Forget…

Never let me forget…

funny hair lochlyn The way that your hair sticks straight up when I take out your ponytail.

stroller run

How one hug can make everything better.

lochlyn's funny smile

The funny smile you took on for a few weeks when you got your first molars.

happy after bath

The way you shriek and scream when you get excited.

 

How proud you were the first time you made it up the entire flight of stairs.

How fast your arms shake up and flail when you are dancing to music.

The tight grasp you get on my ears when we are cuddling.

eeyore lochlyn soother

How you whisper when you say “kitty” and only pronounce the “k” and “t” sounds.

lohclyn josh's birthday

How you light up when daddy homes home.

lochlyn reaching eating

The excited look on your face when I pick you up from childcare, and how you crawl all the way across the room to get to me.

lochlyn and bah

The hugs and kisses you give all your stuffed animals, especially your kitty.

watching tv with grandpa

The way you breathe really heavy when you are concentrating on something.

happy in crib

The big cuddles I get first thing in the morning.

scrunched face lochlyn eating

How you tilt your head to side and smile coyly when you are happy with yourself. A move you picked up from me.

lochlyn stuffed kitten

How you carry your favourite treasures all over the house with you while you are crawling.

Your voice saying “mom” over the baby monitor, when you wake up from your nap.

lochlyn box closet

The way you love to empty out the cupboards so that their contents are spilled all over the kitchen floor. Then you try to put everything away in completely different spots.

The middle of the night wake ups, where all you want is me in the room with you.

How firmly you hold my fingers using them to support your first steps.

lochlyn playground

The way you try to copy everything that I am doing.

lochlyn cuddling me

The cuddles you want when you aren’t feeling fell.

How you play with your hair while you sleep.

lochlyn in laundry basket

Never let me forget all the amazing, simple and sweet moments I share with you daily.

Sometimes I wish I could pause time and be the mama of a 13-month-old baby Lochlyn forever, but you have so much more of life to experience, and I have so much more of you to get to know.

playing at park

I love you my Loch-a-lee Broc-a-lee!

Dealing With the “Voice”

Last week was hard. This was probably due to the fact that I worked four days instead of two, and that Lochlyn had some pretty rough nights since she was teething. I am sure that my house being a complete disaster, and having to do 5000 loads of laundry didn’t help either. On top of all that; Lochlyn’s stomach has still been a little bit upset from having the flu a few weeks ago, and my stomach has been off too.

13 months bath time

On Wednesday night I woke up in the middle of the night feeling really nauseous. I couldn’t sleep for a couple of hours, and finally decided to try eating something. I ate a few crackers and almost right away the nausea was gone and I went back to sleep. On Sunday afternoon I wasn’t feeling good again at all. It was my long run day, and I should have had quite the appetite, but I couldn’t bring myself to eat much even though I was hungry. The only thing that sounded good was vanilla soft serve ice cream. While doing groceries I scoured the freezer section, but couldn’t find anything that I really wanted. I ended up hauling Lochlyn over to Dairy Queen and picking up a dipped cone. After eating it my nausea was completely gone. My weird stomach thing totally felt like being pregnant – I’m definitely not!  It was a good reminder that our bodies know what they need, and we just have to listen to them and not over think it. I am lactose intolerant, and the last thing that logically would make my stomach feel better is ice cream. Weird.

Anyways, it’s Tuesday, so let’s talk about living (mostly eating!) intuitively shall we?

intuitive tuesday

I read this really great email from Isabel Foxen Duke last week. It was on a subject that I have been thinking about for quite some time, but wasn’t quite sure how to put it into words. Isabel nailed it, but here some of my own thoughts.

I often hear people say that intuitive eating wouldn’t work for them, or for other people that they know, because they don’t crave nutritious food. If they ate whatever they craved, without restrictions, they would end up eating only “junk” food all the time, and they would overeat it, leading to some pretty unhealthy habits.

I don’t think the problem of ONLY wanting “junk” food can be attributed to your body’s cravings. I’m not a nutrition expert, or psychologist or anything, but in my opinion, it is mostly about what is going on in your head.

Eating without restrictions means that you allow yourself to eat whatever you want. It is perfectly okay to eat ice cream, chocolate, chips (or chocolate chips!), french fries, whatever. The thing is, you aren’t truly eating without restrictions until you deal with that little voice that says you shouldn’t be eating certain foods.

I am sure you know what voice I am talking about… the one that tells you that certain foods are “bad” or “good”. The voice that says that as long as you are eating certain types of foods, you will never lose weight, or be healthy. You try to ignore the voice rather than deal with it and maybe you even allow yourself to eat whatever you want to because you are trying out this intuitive eating thing, or maybe even because you just don’t give a damn. the unfortunate fact is, even if you are eating previously restricted foods, if you still feel like it is “wrong” it isn’t going to work so well.

I am all too familiar with that quiet voice that judges our food choices. In fact, I deal with it daily. Most ex-dieters, health-conscious people, and even those of us that grew up with concerned and well-meaning parents, have that voice. Actually, most people that have access to any form of media have some judgements about certain foods.

That voice really messes up eating intuitively. Allowing yourself to eat what your body is craving, but still having thoughts that you shouldn’t be, practically defeats the whole purpose of unrestricted eating. You still feel “bad” for eating certain foods and those feelings of “badness” will most likely lead to overeating and possibly even binging. You may even feel the need to go back on a diet, just so you can control yourself around those “bad” foods.

If you don’t deal with that voice, every time you want to eat, you will probably reach for something “bad” because you can. It’s that rebellious nature inside all of us – you “allow” yourself to eat unrestricted, but still feel guilty about it.

For me, a lot of my disordered eating habits were attributed to rebelliousness. As long as that voice tells me I shouldn’t be eating something, I can rebel against it, which leads to eating everything just for the sake of eating…

When I went to go get ice cream yesterday, I had to deal with that voice. I had run 9 miles earlier that day, and the voice told me that I should eat something more nutritious to help with recovery. It told me that I shouldn’t eat ice cream for dinner, and that I should be embarrassed for driving to Dairy Queen and waiting in line at the drive through just to pick up a cone all for myself. I am glad that I put the voice in it’s place and listened to my body because that cone tasted amazing, and my body felt great after eating it.

How do you get rid of the voice, so that you can make unbiased and truly unrestricted food choices?

I think one of the ways is to develop a new voice. A voice of grace, understanding, and reason. A voice that says that it is okay to eat less-nutrtious foods, and that you aren’t “bad” for doing so.

Earlier on in my intuitive eating journey, I journaled a lot about what foods I saw as “bad” and “good”. I even wrote down why I thought these foods were bad, and why I may be wrong about them. For example, I saw pretty much everything with white sugar as “bad”. I guess the reasons why sugar isn’t nutritious are obvious, but my main reason for not eating it was because I thought that sugar would make me gain weight, especially in my belly. I also thought that there was no health benefits to sugar. I listed my favourite foods containing sugar that I restricted, and wrote down reasons that they may be good for me. For example one of the things I wrote down was carrot cake. Carrot cake is good because it is a reminder of when my aunt made it for me just because she knew it was my favorite. Also, I just simply love it, and taking the time to savour and enjoy it is good for my soul! Running has taught me that simple, fast digesting carbohydrates such as sugar and white flour actually have their place – they are great if you need a quick, low fibre and fast digesting burst of energy. I probably wouldn’t choose carrot cake as fuel, but it wouldn’t be the worst thing ever!

When that voice tries to tell you that you shouldn’t be eating something, take a moment to think before you eat it. Think about why “the voice” is wrong, and where that thought came from. Then, think about whether you actually really want this food, or whether you are just eating it because you can. Also, be patient with yourself. It took a long time to build up that negative voice, it will also take time to turn it into a positive one!

 

 Thanks for stopping by!

How to Start Intuitive Eating

This is the one post that I always make sure I get around to writing each week. I think that this is because living intuitively, and especially eating intuitively is something that is so important to me. It has completely changed my life for the better, and writing these posts has helped keep me on track with it. Thanks for stopping for another Intuitive Tuesday post!

intuitive tuesday

Today’s post is all about how to start eating intuitively…

I didn’t make the step to start eating intuitively all at once. I had spent the past few years letting diets dictate what I ate and when. Even when I needed to gain weight to get pregnant, I was still tallying calories up in my head, and trying to eat only foods I considered “healthy”. Making the decision to give up control and let my body tell me what to eat was  scary.

My experience with dieting and food rules became a downward spiral in my life. It did get better with pregnancy, but once I had Lochlyn and had some baby weight to lose, I recognized old patterns emerging, and knew I needed to deal with them.

pregnant with eeyore

How did I make the jump from dieting and food restriction to eating freely and listening to my body? It’s something I haven’t talked about much on the blog…

It started with recognizing that calorie counting, food restriction, and following different weight loss trends, were not working for me. They only led to binge eating, depression, self hatred … you get the picture. I knew that this was not what I wanted for Lochlyn. I had to make a change, and fast, because her little eyes were on me every moment that she was awake. I also needed to make the change for myself. What I was doing to my physical and mental health was not worth possibly losing a few points (and probably gaining them back later).

baby eating  breakfast

I am not sure when I first heard of the term “intuitive eating” but it was something that had been in the back of my mind for awhile. After Lochlyn was born, I started researching what it was all about. I read multiple blogs that promoted either intuitive eating, or were against dieting. I hadn’t made the decision to quit dieting at this point, but I was curious about what other options were. Some of my favourite blogs were (and still are):

  • Snack Therapy – especially love this blog for promoting positive body image
  • The F* It Diet (not intuitive eating, but she has some great tips and advice)
  • The Anti Diet Project <—- Kelsey Miller has been a huge inspiration to me!

After reading through blogs like these for awhile, I started to experiment more with my eating. I started ditching my food rules, and allowing my body to eat what it wanted and when. I also started questioning why I thought my body needed to look a certain way. I ordered a workbook through The F* It Diet, and although I never finished it, it really helped me uncover some of my messed up beliefs and work through them.

I stayed away from reading anything online that promoted dieting, restrictive eating, or even things like calorie allowances or IIFYM. Blog posts with titles like “How to Reduce your Sugar Intake” or “The Negative Side Effects of Sugar” were no-gos for me. I couldn’t read about how another blogger had lost five pounds, or discuss a diet that my friend was trying. This may seem extreme, but anything like this made me want to start dieting again. Now that I have been eating intuitively for over 6 months, I sometimes read posts like this if I am familiar with the author, but I am still very careful with what I am reading, and make sure I don’t finish if something seems like it could be triggering for me. I also find that most of the time I am just not interested in reading posts like this anymore.

After reading intuitive eating/anti-dieting blogs for awhile, I started to become more curious about the book Intuitive Eating. I was hesitant to read it up to this point because I didn’t want to get into anything that promoted any kind of restricted eating habits. I was scared that the book would tell me that I couldn’t eat if I wasn’t hungry, and or that I couldn’t eat in front of the TV, etc. I didn’t want to limit myself after all the freedom I was starting to find with food.

I ordered the book Intuitive Eating online, and once I started reading it, I became fully convinced that the Intuitive Eating lifestyle would only benefit me. I was committed to trying it out, and giving it a very fair chance. I loved that the book didn’t contain rules, but simply guidelines and recommendations to help you out along your journey with intuitive eating. I also found the book super educating. I couldn’t believe all the statistics about dieting, and yet when I considered myself and other dieters that I knew – they all lined up.

intuitive eating book

Before I even finished reading the book, I wrote a blog post titled “Why I Will Never Diet Again“. That settled it for me. I had made a public declaration. No more dieting.

Writing Intuitive Tuesday blog posts provide me with an outlet, and an accountability to intuitive eating. It helps me focus in on different aspects of intuitive eating anywhere I am at with them. I am not even close to being a perfect intuitive eater, but the lifestyle has already positively affected my life in a huge way, and I can’t imagine ever going back to dieting or restricted eating.

birthday sushi

If intuitive eating is something that you are curious about, or something that you would like to try, here are some tips/ideas that could help you start the journey. These are ideas that worked for me, but I encourage you to search out what works for you!

  • Think about the effects of dieting and/or restricted eating in your own life. Make a list or start journaling if it helps you. Use this list as a reminder if you are tempted to try another diet.
  • Educate yourself. Read Intuitive Eating, and/or find other books that promote the idea of letting your body tell you what it needs and when. (Please be careful with what books you are reading. Some could be another diet in disguise!)
  • Avoid anything that may trigger the diet mentality. Be careful with what books you read, and what you read online. Don’t allow yourself to read anything that promotes dieting, food restrictions or negative body image. Also be careful about who you spend time with and what you talk about. Friends are powerful influencers!
  • Get involved in the community. Read blogs that promote intuitive eating, or anti-dieting. If you know other intuitive eaters, talk to them about it! Don’t be afraid to reach out to other people online with questions!
  • Be gentle with yourself, and allow yourself to start the process slow if you need to. Don’t make yourself do it before you are ready. Intuitive eating isn’t like dieting. You can’t just pick it up in a day.
  • Find someone to keep you accountable. I have been very open to my husband about my experience with intuitive eating, and it is something that we talk about often. Posting about my experiences on the blog has also helped keep me accountable and motivated.

 

I would love to hear more tips and ideas from you! If you have given up dieting, how and why did you do it?

 

 

Meal Plan for April 13th

I am super late with meal planning this week. I usually figure it out on Fridays, but last Friday was hectic since I was trying to get ready to go away for the weekend. This post will be short and sweet, but I wanted to pop in with the week’s meal plan. Two posts in one day, who am I? Please check out my other post from today because I am pretty proud of it – My First Race Ever!

lochlyn spring sunglasses

Breakfast Ideas

Lunch Ideas

Dinner Ideas

This post took forever to go up. My computer keeps getting a pop-up saying that I have a security issue and need to call some random number that claims to be “Apple Care”. If you get this pop-up – don’t call the number! It is not Apple Care. I called the number and it was sketchy so I hung up. Anyways, I fixed my computer all by myself, because I am a rockstar (it was easy, but I am still proud of myself).

Have a great Monday!

 

What is your favourite birthday desert? Josh’s is apple pie with vanilla ice cream every time. I can never make up my mind. I love carrot cake, and cheesecake. I also love Saskatoon or cherry pie. I haven’t had rhubarb crisp is forever, and that sounds pretty amazing too. I am a lot more indecisive than Josh!

Have you ever had that window come up on your computer? Ever fallen for a similar scam?

My First Race Ever

On Saturday I ran in my first race ever. At least, it was what I would consider my first race ever. I have done a couple fun 5k events that I didn’t train for, most as fundraisers. I wouldn’t count them as “real” races. I didn’t track my time in them, and I didn’t even get a bib. The bib is what makes a race legit, am I right?

10k pre race

Anyways, on Saturday I ran my very first 10K race, and I am really happy with how it went. I will share my results with you, but first, here is a quick little recap of the race…

Josh and I drove down to stay at my parent’s house in Cochrane on Friday night. The race was in Calgary, about a half hour drive from my parents’ place, so we stayed there the night before for convenience. I packed dinner for myself to eat in the car, and Josh and Lochlyn got dinner on the way down. I was too scared to eat out the night before a race. I also wanted to treat my 10k as practice for my upcoming half marathon, and wanted to test out some pre-race fuel. I had pasta, with tomato sauce and ground turkey for anyone who is curious.

Anyways, we got to my parents’ house, put Lochlyn to bed, hung out with my parents for a bit, and then Josh and I both went to bed early. I thought that there was no way I would be able to sleep, but I actually slept really well. Int he morning I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm, excited and ready to go.

My pre-race routine included making a quick breakfast to eat in the car, getting dressed, and making sure the bag I packed the night before had everything that I needed in it. Breakfast was a blueberry bagel, with a little bit of peanut butter and jelly. I ate this an hour and 15 minutes before the race.

Josh and I arrived at the race location around 8:30 am. We wanted to be there early because we were worried about parking. Also, I wanted to make sure I was organized, and not arriving last minute.

The race as put on by a local MEC (one of my most favourite stores ever). There wasn’t a lot going on at the race location to distract me before the race. I guess that is what is expected when you only pay $15 for a race! As the starting time neared, I found myself getting intimidated, as I looked at the runners around me. They all looked so experienced, and were doing different activities to warm up. Most of them were decked out in really nice running gear and I found myself checking out everyone’s shoes. I love running shoes. I ended up walking around with Josh, as I usually just walk for a few minutes to warm up before a run.

One thing that the race location did have was porta-potties – yay! Before I knew it I was in line to hit them up and then I was watching the 15k racers leave for their race. I was surprised how not-nervous I actually was. I think it helped that I have ran 14k during training runs, so I knew that I could run 10K already.

When it was almost time for the 10k race to start, they gathered us all together, and walked us through some warm-up stretches. It was a small race. There was 171 people that participated in the 10k, and a total of 550 runners in all the events. The race ended up being completely sold out.

10k warm-up

 

Hip circles anyone?

 

Before I knew it, they were counting us down, and we were off!

10 k race start

I started out in the middle of the pack, and was feeling pretty good. I ended up passing quite a few people at the beginning of the race, which may have been a mistake because  the little hill at the start of the race turned into a big hill. Like a big, steep, 5k long hill. I should have known since the name of the race was “The Hill Climb”.

I looked at elevation charts before the race, but I didn’t think the hill was as steep or as long as it turned out to be. I was under the impression that after the first 2 miles, it would be pretty flat. We arrived at the 2.5 km water station, which served as a turnaround for the runners doing the 5k. I couldn’t believe that I had made it up the hill that far, I considered stopping to walk, but since I thought that the hill would flatten out shortly, I kept going … and going … and going. I have to admit I also had fantasies about turning around at the 5k mark and running 5k instead of 10. I was so tired, but I talked myself into going on.

The hill didn’t stop at 2 miles. I ended up having to slow my pace right down to make it up the massive hill. So many runners around me stopped for walking breaks, and I was so tempted, but I felt like if I stopped to walk, I would lose momentum, and probably wouldn’t give the race 100% of my effort.

I kept running, and boy was I relieved to see the 5k marker and turnaround point. I don’t know if I could have run much farther up that hill, let alone run the rest of the way back to the start. The one good thing about running uphill on “out and back” courses, is that it means that you get to run downhill after. I was so thankful for the downhill. There were a few dips in the course, and those small hills felt pretty painful after running that huge one!

My original goal was to start upping my pace after the 5k turnaround, but I had to change my plans since I was so exhausted from that huge hill. I used the declines to catch my breath and I did sprint down some of the bigger hills. At the 6k mark, I finally started feeling better, and upped my pace. At this point I was being passed by a lot of the 15k-ers, who were sprinting down the hills crazy fast. I don’t know how they had the energy to do it, but I soon found myself picking up the pace and sprinting down the hills too. I ran the last km as fast as I could, and I thought my lungs would burst. The race ended with a short stretch uphill. Since I knew the race was almost over, I didn’t slow down, but kept my pace just as fast as it had been running down the last stretch of hills. So hard.

10k finish sprint

As I was running to the finish line I could read the clock enough to see it said 56 .. something. I was so excited.

10k finish line

I darted into the finish line and immediately started searching for Josh. It was so awesome to have him there waiting for me. My parents were also watching with Lochlyn, and I loved seeing them all, after I caught my breath anyways!

josh and lochlyn at race

We chatted for a bit, but I was so anxious to check my time. They had the results posted online, and used my phone to check the website. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I mean, I saw it on the clock as I was running across the finish line, but I was still really happy with how fast I ran: 56:06! My average pace was 9:04 minute miles. 13 seconds faster than my goal! I couldn’t believe I ran at that pace because of the monster hill I was faced with. That was intense.

There are a few things that I would change if I ran the race again. The biggest thing is that I would have started the race off a lot slower. That hill was crazy, and I didn’t realize how crazy it was until I was half way up it. I would have liked to run the second half of the race faster, and running the first part slower would have allowed me more energy to do so. I also would have pinned my bib lower down on my shirt. As I mentioned, this was my first time wearing a bib, and it kept smacking me in the face. So annoying! Another thing that was different about this race, was that I didn’t track it at all while I was running. I actually haven’t bothered to buy a garmin, and I have just been using an app on my phone to track my running. I have a pocket on my jacket that I can use to hold my phone, but when I am dressed lighter, I have no way of holding it other than in my hand. I decided to leave the phone behind and run by feel. That was hard. I think I may have been more motivated to pick up speed if I knew that I was actually making decent time. I also would have been more likely to slow down if I knew how fast I was actually running up that hill.

Other than that, I was really happy with how everything went. I know that I tried my very best, and that was what made finishing such a great feeling!

out of breath 10k

 

 

Runners – what was your first race ever? Do you like the race atmosphere, or do you prefer running solo/with a running buddy?

 

Weight Changes and Intuitive Eating

I apologize for the late post, but as promised, this Tuesday, I am going to talk about whether I have gained or lost weight while intuitive eating. If you aren’t sure what this whole Intuitive Tuesday thing is about, you can head on over to this page for a quick explanation :) Before I tell you how my weight has changed, let’s have a quick chat about weight and intuitive eating, shall we?

intuitive tuesday

I believe that one of the biggest reasons why people don’t take the step to try eating intuitively is fear.

Fear that you won’t stop eating if you allow yourself to eat freely.

Fear that you will never crave healthy foods, and just eat all the “junk” food all the time.

Fear of weight gain.

To most of us, the words alone are terrifying. Yet why is gaining weight so scary? Where did we get that idea from? Who has brainwashed us into thinking that our body needs to look a certain way, and be a certain size? That we need to eat certain foods, in certain amounts, at certain times? That we should all fit into a cookie cutter mold, that our culture has deemed beautiful? It’s pretty messed up.

Learning to eat intuitively doesn’t mean that you will gain weight … but you might. It doesn’t mean that you will lose weight … but that could happen too.

Eating intuitively isn’t about what you weigh at all and it isn’t about what you look like. Weight gain or loss is simply a side effect of learning to trust your body. Intuitive eating is all about eating what your body is craving, when it is hungry, and stopping when your body is full. So simple, and so not a diet. Please don’t make it into one.

According to Intuitive Eating, learning to listen to your hunger and fullness cues will result in your body finding it’s “natural” weight, and maintaining it. If you were overeating, binge eating, or emotional eating, prior to starting intuitive eating, you will likely lose weight. If you are under-eating, dieting, or restricting food, you may gain weight (p. 33). Keep in mind that weight changes are a side effect of eating intuitively, not its focus.

weight changes

Okay, my little rant is over now. I promised I would tell you whether or not I have gained weight since I started intuitive eating, so let’s get to it…

I don’t know exactly when the last time I weighed myself was. I know it was right around the time that I decided to give up dieting. I also know that it was before I started this little blog. That would mean that it was probably around 7-ish months ago. At this time, I weighed approximately 10 pounds more than I did before I got pregnant.

Shortly after, I decided to put my scale away, and stop weighing myself. I didn’t struggle with compulsively weighing myself when I made this decision, but I knew that the scale wasn’t benefiting me at all. I decided that it would just hinder my journey with intuitive eating, and learning to trust my body.

I definitely recommend not weighing yourself. It was/is awesome.

A couple weekends ago, Josh and I booked a hotel, and spent the night away together. We checked into our hotel in the early afternoon, and pretty much right away I noticed that there was a scale in the bathroom. The thought crossed my mind that I hadn’t weighed myself in so long, and I was curious about how my weight had changed. I decided not to weight myself right away, but to think about it for a while first.

Let’s fast forward to that evening, when I made up my mind to do it. I didn’t have the excited, impulsive, anxious feeling I used to when I stepped on the scale, I mostly felt curiosity. Before I stepped on it, I prepared myself with the reminder that my weight is just a number and that it doesn’t mean anything good or bad. Weighing less or more would both be okay, good actually, because I knew that I was learning to eat intuitively and that my body was slowly finding its “natural” weight.

So what did I see when I stepped on the scale?

I had lost weight.

Since I started intuitive eating, I have lost almost 10 pounds.

Initially, I was shocked. I have honestly been eating whatever I want to. I have consumed a Costco-sized cheesecake all to myself (not all at once!), a million chocolate almonds, all the cream cheese icing, and a ton of other high-calorie foods. I don’t always stop eating when I am full, or only eat when I am hungry. I am still trying to figure this whole intuitive eating thing out. When I look in the mirror, I can’t tell that I have lost weight. I can tell that my legs are bigger and stronger though. I have increased my weights a ton at the gym too, so I know that I have gained muscle. How have I lost weight?

Well … I haven’t been binge eating, I haven’t been eating way past the point of fullness, and I haven’t been obsessing about food. I think this is why I have lost weight even though I have been eating a lot. It also took me approximately 7 months to lose that weight. The changes my body went through were very gradual.

Stepping on that scale did mess up my thoughts and therefore my eating for the next couple of days. Not big time, but I noticed it. I ate a lot more chocolate, and foods that I used to restrict in the past. I told myself it was okay to eat whatever I wanted to since I had done so for the past few months and still lost weight. This is true, but shouldn’t be abused. I was eating when my body didn’t need to, just because my mind told me that I should, since it was permissible. I guess I still have some restrictive eating thoughts that need to be dealt with.

Once I recognized these thoughts, I made a point to deal with them quickly. Now, I don’t plan to weigh myself for at least another six months, or at my next dr.’s appointment anyway!

While stepping on the scale did mess up my thinking for a bit, it has also given me new encouragement and confidence in intuitive eating. Not because I have lost weight, but because I believe I am closer to reaching my body’s “natural” weight. This is exciting for me because I can see how my relationship with food has improved, and that I am starting to figure out how this whole intuitive eating thing works.

 

Please don’t congratulate me for losing weight. As I mentioned above, weight loss isn’t good or bad in itself, but simply a symptom of the whole intuitive eating process. For me, losing weight is a positive because it means that my body is closer to finding its “natural weight”. Thank you!

Do you weigh yourself often?

Any questions for me regarding this topic, or intuitive eating in general?

 

 

New Neighbors…

I don’t have a ton of time, but I wanted to stop in quick and update you on our weekend happenings.

Before I do that, I also want to say Happy Easter! I can’t believe I forgot to wish you all a Happy Easter on Friday. Easter is usually a pretty big deal around here, and this year we almost missed it. Life has been crazy. We didn’t do anything special to celebrate, which I am sad about, but with Lochlyn and I being sick last week, I didn’t have time to plan much.

My weekend started on Thursday, when I was up most of the night with the stomach flu. I am hoping that I caught it from Lochlyn. It sucked, but I am so glad that it was only a 24 hour thing. Could have been so much worse.

Friday was mostly spent napping, relaxing, and hanging out with Lochlyn. Josh was home from work for Good Friday, so I guess if I had to get sick, Thursday night was a good time to do it. I planned on an early bed time for Friday night, since I still wasn’t feeling 100% and I had to work Saturday morning. I am sure glad that I was in bed before 10, because I woke up before 5am and didn’t get back to sleep.

We met our new neighbours on Friday during the day. They just bought the townhouse next to us. They aren’t moving in for another month, but they brought a mattress and stayed at their new place for the long weekend. They were so loud. They stayed up all night in their backyard having a fire and listening to loud music. After being awake for almost an hour I went over and asked them to turn the music down, which worked for all of about 5 minutes and then it was loud again. I was really surprised to find that there were only two of them there. How could they make so much noise and stay up all night? They woke Lochlyn up at 6:30am. I was so frustrated and so so grumpy, especially since I was trying to rest up after being sick and I had to work in the morning.

Saturday morning I felt pretty awful. I had the worst headache ever and was pretty achy. I headed into work and didn’t end up feeling better until I took a couple tylenols in the afternoon. I try to avoid taking tylenol/advil/whatever unless I absolutely have to. I am not really sure why I do this, I just prefer not to take it. After the tylenol, I felt a lot better and enjoyed the rest of my work day.

I came home on Saturday to dinner already made. So awesome. Josh cooked pasta with ground turkey and it was amazing. After Lochlyn went to bed, Josh and I stayed up for a bit and chatted about what we were going to do if our neighbours woke us up again. Then we called it an early night since we were both seriously lacking on sleep and didn’t know how the night would go.

smiles with trail mix

Good thing we went to bed early. At around 1:00 am our neighbours headed back outside for another fire and started getting pretty loud. They didn’t wake me up until 3:00am, but when they did, I called the RCMP right away. I am so glad I did because the RCMP were over there within 20 minutes, and gave them one warning. If they get another noise complaint, they get fined. I still heard our neighbours moving around in the house, and heading outside to smoke (a lot), but the music and loud talking was gone, and that made me happy. Unfortunately, I was pretty awake and worked up about the whole situation, and I didn’t get back to sleep until 5am. I woke up 7 to get ready for my long run before church. I headed out for my run just after 8am, and our neighbours were still awake. Either they only slept for a couple hours, or they didn’t sleep at all. They packed up all their stuff and were gone within the next couple hours. They had a fairly long drive to get home.

So weird. I don’t understand people,  I love sleeping.

I decided to be grateful that calling the RCMP worked to keep the noise down. I didn’t want to be grumpy about the situation and let it ruin my day. I got ready for my runs and headed out with the goal to not worry about time and simply enjoy it.

I put away my phone (I don’t have a Garmin, so I’ve been using RunKeeper) and just turned the volume up on the app, so I could hear updates every so often, without keeping a close eye on my pace. It was a beautiful crisp morning, and there was hardly anyone up and about. Since Lochlyn was sick the week before, my workouts were pretty lacking. I also wasn’t sure I was 100% recovered, and I was missing sleep, so I didn’t want to push myself too hard.

About half way into my run, I realized that I was making really good time. My average pace was awesome and I was feeling really good. I decided to try to push myself the last couple miles and see if I could set a new personal best. Guess what?

8 mile run

I did!!! I had yet to have a run with an average pace that was sub 10 minutes. This was my second time running 8 miles and the first time my pace was 10:04. I was really happy with this pace, and hoped to eventually knock it down to 10:00. I beat my goal by 5 seconds! Without even trying for the first half! I was pretty excited. It is crazy that three months ago I had a hard time running 3 miles at a pace of 10:55, and now I am running 8 miles at 9:55 and not feeling like I am dying for the last few miles. It is amazing how well training works, and how fast your body can adapt to it.

I think that part of the reason why I had such a great run was that I paid more attention to my nutrition, used fuel during the run, and didn’t work out for a couple days before since I was sick. This run certainly made my look forward to my 10k race next weekend. Bring it!

After my run I jumped in the shower, and got ready really quick while Lochlyn napped. Then we headed out the door to go to church. There was no one in the nursery, so I ended up staying in there and playing with Lochlyn, while I caught up with a mom friend I haven’t seen in a while. Josh and I stayed late after the service visiting with people and showing off our baby. I wish I took a picture, since Lochlyn had the cutest dress on for Easter, but my pictures were seriously lacking this weekend. After church, we came home and had lunch (I had a massive salad) and then everyone had a nap.

I wish I could say we did something exciting for Easter but we did not. Easter dinner for us was smoothies since we weren’t too hungry. Well … Lochlyn was hungry. She ate two bowls of leftover pasta, half a banana and half of my smoothie.

After dinner, we headed over to a friend’s house for a quick visit and then had another early bed time. Our new neighbours were gone and we all slept so good. Sleep is the best.

 

What would you have done to deal with our bad neighbours?

On a more positive note, how did you celebrate Easter?

April 3rd Meal Plan

This has been a hard week. I am glad that it is almost over.

The week started off with Lochlyn waking up with a really bad stomach flu on Monday morning. She has had a cold for a few weeks, and has been teething like crazy, and the stomach flu was just the icing on the cake. I won’t go into too many details, but I was in for a big surprise when I headed into her room in the morning. I had to wash everything, and vacuum, and then wash everything again. Gross. I felt so bad that she slept through the night in that mess. All Lochlyn wanted to do on Monday was cuddle and sleep.

asleep in high chair

Lochlyn is doing a lot better now, but she still isn’t herself. She isn’t eating very much, and she is really tired. I think her teeth are hurting her a lot. She has needed a lot of extra love and attention this week.

I also haven’t been feeling that great this past week. I thought it was because I haven’t been eating very healthily. I was blaming my stomach issues on too much dairy and sugar. With Lochlyn needing so much extra attention, my meals have been consisting of whatever I can quickly grab out of the cupboard. On Thursday I was feeling especially sick. My whole body was aching and I was freezing cold. By Thursday evening I realized I had a stomach flu. Thursday night I ended up sleeping on the couch, so I didn’t wake Josh up with all my trips to the bathroom. Bleh.

On top of us being sick, and cooped up in the house all week, it is snowing and grey and gross outside. This weather gets to me and I find myself start to feel depressed. I just want it to be spring out there!

lochlyn in swing

I really hope that we are all healthy next week, because on Saturday I am running a 10k race in Calgary. This is the first official race I have ever run. I have done 5k races for fundraisers and stuff, but nothing that I trained for. I am starting to get nervous!

I haven’t been paying too much attention to nutrition when it comes to my running, and I want to change that. I tried to keep my race on Saturday in mind with this week’s meal plan. My goal for the week is to eat a lot of satisfying and healthy meals, and try to lay off the dairy and sweets. I am lactose intolerant, and I find I feel better without the extra cheese. I also need to find some healthier snacks for the week, since as I mentioned last week, my snacking choices haven’t been the greatest.

Breakfast Ideas

  • Scrambled eggs with spinach and sweet potato
  • Apple crock pot oatmeal
  • Egg white pancakes
  • Egg Sandwich
  • Banana Egg White Oatmeal

Wow – that is a lot of eggs…

Lunch Ideas

  • Turkey Sandwich with tons of veggies
  • Bean/grain salad
  • Humus wrap
  • Friday: Egg salad sandwiches

Dinner Ideas

  • Saturday: Spaghetti with meat sauce
  • Sunday: Wing it
  • Monday: Chili Lime Shrimp Bowls
  • Tuesday: Salmon, roasted sweet potatoes and veggies
  • Wednesday: Asian Peanut Noodles with Chicken
  • Thursday: Egg scramble
  • Friday: Leftover spaghetti with meat sauce (I will freeze some from Saturday)

 

This meal plan is super specific for me. I am hoping to reuse it the week leading up to my half marathon if it works out okay. 6 weeks to go!

 

 For all you runners out there – do you put much thought into race day/week/month nutrition? Does it make a difference?