Month: March 2015

Intuitive Eating Progress

Let’s head right on in to another round of Intuitive Tuesday shall we? Thanks for joining me!

intuitive tuesday

I am not exactly sure when I made the decision to start eating intuitively. This blog has been around for over six months now, and I know that I was committed to eating intuitively before I started the blog, so it has been a little while. I thought that this would be a good time to check in with you guys and let you know how my journey with intuitive eating is going.

First of all, let’s recap what intuitive eating means to me.

Intuitive eating is eating when you are hungry and stopping when you are full most of the time. It is allowing yourself to eat what satisfies and nourishes your body, without restricting certain foods. Intuitive eating means rejecting dieting, and all the thoughts that go along with it. It is accepting your body where it is at, and learning to love it. Intuitive eating is a journey, it is not about perfection. To learn more about intuitive eating, I highly suggest you check out this book (not an affiliate link).

intuitive eating book

Before I talk about if intuitive eating has been working for me, I want to share with you how I have been doing with it. I have been using the 10 Principles of Intuitive Eating to help me on my journey. These principles are guidelines to help you learn to eat intuitively. They aren’t set in stone and don’t need to be followed 100% of the time for intuitive eating to work. I am proof of this!

1. Reject the Diet Mentality

I was doing great with this and then a couple of months ago I started looking up calorie recommendations online and kept an estimate of how many calories I was eating in my head. I definitely didn’t actually eat the recommended amount of calories, but the diet mentality was still there, resurfacing. This was triggered by reading a couple blogs that talked about calorie recommendations while exercising. I need to start skipping over triggering posts since this is still an area of weakness for me. I am happy to say that this didn’t last long, and I am no longer counting calories! I know that it absolutely doesn’t work for me, and actually leads to weight gain, and obsessive tendencies.

diets fail

 

Source

2. Honor Your Hunger

I tend it eat on Lochlyn’s schedule, not my own. I am getting better about knowing how much to eat so that I can make it to the next meal without being crazy hungry … with a few exceptions. I have to admit I drink coffee in the morning to satisfy my hunger while I wait for Lochlyn to wake up to have breakfast. I don’t like making breakfast while she is still sleeping because I am loud and tend to wake her up. I need to have some snack foods on hand to nibble on in case I find myself really hungry before it is breakfast time for us.

3. Make Peace with Food

I have a bad habit of eating Josh’s cereal and granola bars as a snack when I am not that hungry and don’t really even want them. They are Josh’s foods, and I feel guilty eating them. I think that “rebellious eating” could be why I always reach for them for a snack. I need to give myself permission to eat them. Josh doesn’t actually care, and we can always buy more. I also sometimes feel bad for eating a ton of less nutritious foods. This is mostly because I don’t feel great after eating them, and I know it will affect my running. I would like to work more on not seeing food as “good” or “bad”.

ready for cake

4. Challenge the Food Police

My progress with this is really tied to the last point. There are a few foods that I still view as “bad” or “off limits”. This is mostly because they are Josh’s, or will negatively affect my performance while running.

5. Respect Your Fullness

I feel like this is where I have made the most progress lately. I am proud to say that I am no longer a member of the clean plate club! I am learning to stop eating when I am full, and recognize the feeling. There have been a few nights recently that I haven’t eaten the dinner I made for my family because I was snacking too much before, and realized I wasn’t hungry. I am not proud of the snacking, but I am proud about not overdoing it! I still overeat from time to time, and sometimes if something is amazingly delicious, I give myself permission to overeat. Last weekend Josh and I ordered the most amazing dessert to share, and I ate more than I needed to. I definitely don’t regret that decision. It was amazing.

n0PSuyDDoQLMDX

Source – I didn’t get a picture but this was what it looked like. White chocolate flatbread with cheesecake, berries, brownie crumbles and chocolate sauce. Topped with the most creamy vanilla ice cream. How could you not want to overeat with this?

6. Discover the Satisfaction Factor

This is so hard for me! I am trying to remember to ask myself what I feel like eating  and then taking the time to really enjoy it. Limiting distractions is something that has helped me with this, but here has still been the odd meal or snack eaten in front of my computer, or phone. Like I mentioned above, it’s progress, not perfection! I love eating and reading at the same time. It is the perfect way to escape the real world and not feel your feelings…

7. Honor your Feelings Without Using Food

I didn’t realize that I ate my feelings until I started intuitive eating. I am learning to feel my feelings, even when I do turn to food if that makes sense. I still eat emotionally sometimes, but I am trying to figure out what I am feeling even if I do eat when I feel emotional. Some of my greatest triggers are stress, exhaustion, and loneliness.

emotional eating

 

Source

8. Respect Your Body

Ahh, yes. This is tough, but oh so good. I feel like I do respect my body the majority of the time. I am taking this one step further and trying to learn to love my body. I am not there yet, but I will be!

9. Exercise – Feel the Difference

I got this. I love exercise. I have also learned that over-exercising can be a bad thing. There have been quite a few workouts lately that have been cut short, made easier, or even skipped because my body was telling me I needed to take it easy. I have also changed up my strength training routine because I recognized that coupled with running, it was getting to be too hard on my body.

10. Honor Your Health

This is a work in progress. I know how to eat healthy, and I would like to fuel myself with healthy foods as I know that it affects my running performance. I am working at paying attention to how my body feels after eating less healthy foods. It is encouraging me to fuel with healthier options for sure. I don’t eat healthy all the time, but I do try to make healthy choices if my body isn’t craving anything specific. When I am craving chocolate like crazy, I still eat it. I just try to choose something healthier if I am not craving it specifically.

 

Wow, that was a long update. I reviewed all of those points because I wanted you to see that I am not a perfect intuitive eater. I don’t follow the above principles all of the time. I still struggle with almost every single aspect of intuitive eating at some point during my day. The intuitive eating principles are there to help you out, not to hinder you or make you feel inadequate.

Now that we have gone over that, does intuitive eating actually work?

I have been working at intuitive eating for over six months now, and I can say without a doubt that, despite all of my weakness, intuitive eating has absolutely worked for me.

Since I started eating intuitively I have

  • Given up dieting. I have relapsed a bit into the diet mentality, but I haven’t gone on an actual diet, and that is so great.
  • Stopped binge eating. I haven’t binge ate since I started intuitive eating. This is my most favourite result of learning to eat intuitively. Giving yourself permission to eat is so rewarding.
  • Cut back on overeating. I still overeat on occasion, and sometimes I even give myself permission to overeat. Overall, this habit has been squashed and I feel so much better now that I don’t have the shame and guilt that is associated with it.
  • Not obsessed about food. Now I can actually live my life and food doesn’t have power or control over me. Thank God.
  • Started respecting my body. My body can do amazing things. It is healthy, and it is mine. I don’t need to change it to be loved or accepted.

As you can see, intuitive eating has changed my life for the better. If you would like to improve your relationship with food, I would highly, highly suggest giving it a fair try. The book I mentioned above is a great starting point!

I also want to talk about something that a lot of people have asked me about since I started intuitive eating. Weight gain and weight loss. This post is long enough as it is, and I have a lot to say about the subject, so I am saving it for next week. Stay tuned because I plan to share with you whether I have gained or lost weight while intuitive eating!

 

If you have any questions about my journey or progress with intuitive eating I would love to hear them!

March 28th Meal Plan

I am so glad that it is Friday, and even more importantly, that I have the weekend off! I have mixed feelings about the fact that it is almost April. Time goes by way too fast, but … summer is almost here!

Josh and I are headed out for our first weekend away from Lochlyn after work today and I cannot wait. I am really going to miss my baby but I know we will have such a great time!

I am not sure when groceries are going to happen for the week since usually I do them on Friday nights. The meal plan is a bit shorter than usual since we won’t be here this weekend. Yay for less cooking, which means less cleaning!

Thank you Jessica for recommending Budget Bytes to me. I tried a few recipes last week, and they were pretty good. I also felt like our grocery bill was a little less steep. There are more Budget Bytes inspired meals on the menu this week, along with some Pioneer Woman ones because Ree’s recipes are always sooo good! There are also a couple random ones thrown in too.

Breakfast

Lunch

Dinner

  • Turkey Bagel Burger, side salad
  • Miracle Mac n Cheese w/ added spinach (whenever I ask Josh what he wants for dinner, he says Mac n Cheese, which is weird because until I started making it for him, he told me he didn’t like it! I guess I am just that good of a cook! haha)
  • Easy Lemon Dill Salmon, coconut rice, stir fry veggies (I have a ton of frozen veggies in the freezer to eat up)
  • Turkey/chicken sausage with roasted potatoes and veggies

Snack Ideas

  • Please help me! I have been failing in this department lately. I need some new ideas for easy snacks for both Josh and I. I used to make muffins, bars, trail mix/whatever, but I haven’t been finding the time lately. Anything grab and go and relatively nutritious and filling would be perfect!
  • I am not making them this week, but I really miss homemade granola bars, and muffins, and baking. I feel like I either have time to make delicious things, or clean my house. How did women make everything from scratch back in the day, wash all their clothes by hand, iron everything, and keep their house spotless, all well having about 200 children?!

I watched this really great youtube video from Evelyn Tribole, who is one of the writers of the book Intuitive Eating. I found it super encouraging and would recommend checking it out. I listened to it while cleaning my floors yesterday, and I think I will probably listen to it again within the next couple of days. I never listen/watch the same thing twice, but I enjoyed it that much. It also had some great tips about teaching your kids to eat intuitively for all you mamas out there.

Lochlyn was into Youtube yesterday too. She was having a rough time with teething, and I let her watch some kitten videos to brighten her day. She was so happy. She just kept staring at my phone and smiling and every so often she would look at me and say “kitties, kitties, kitties”. When each video ended she would wave and say, “bye bye”. She loves “kitties” and I love her :)

happy lochlyn playpen

What are some easy “grab-and-go” snack ideas for me? For Josh to take for lunch? 

Do you have any favourite Youtube videos? Ted Talks? Podcasts? I have never ventured into the land of podcasts, but I feel like I would LOVE them. Recommendations are appreciated!

Cardio or Strength?

Good morning/afternoon/evening/middle of the night/whatever! It is time for Thinking out Loud, which is awesome because I feel like rambling a little bit today, and a lot of my rambles will be about exercise.

thinking out loud

As you may know, I love being active, and getting to the gym is one of the highlights of my day, so I guess it makes sense that I want to chat about it. I specifically want to ramble about a little dilemma that has been on my mind lately …

1. Cardio vs. Strength.

A little while ago Josh and I were debating about whether we would give up cardio, or strength training if we had to choose one. I am talking give up forever. If you could only do cardio or strength training for the rest of your life, which would you choose?

This question was easy for Josh. He chose cardio – which surprised me a little bit. A few years ago he would have responded strength for sure. He use to be in and out of the gym in 25 minutes, and spent the whole time lifting weights. Currently he has been doing a lot of circuit-style bodyweight exercises with some plyometric moves mixed in. He now prefers to work out in our basement and actually cancelled his gym membership! Josh does incorporate lighter dumbbells into his workouts, but he said he would be willing to let that go if he had to choose one.

To me, his bodyweight exercises are still kind of classified as strength training. I think there is a little bit of overlapping, but to him, it is mostly cardio so that is what we are going to go with.

I didn’t answer the cardio vs. strength question as easily as Josh. When I first started exercising regularly I would have chosen cardio for sure. I have always loved the feeling I get from aerobic exercise, and I know that it enables me to do other things I love like hiking and mountain biking. Growing up I played soccer, so I spent most of my time doing cardio.

If you would have asked me the cardio vs. strength question six months ago, I would have answered strength! The past couple of years, I have been loving strength training and I feel like I can still get a cardiovascular workout while lifting weights if I need to with supersets or circuit training.

gym shoes

Now, I am more undecided. I have been loving running. Like, loving it. I would totally give up strength training for a season to focus on running. It has been so cool to watch my body go from barely being able to run a slow 3 miles, to rocking 8 miles and not feeling like I was going to die after. I love the endorphins, the rush, the way my body feels empowered by working towards a goal and conquering it – you get the picture.

I know that strength training makes me a better runner. I also know that I have loved strength training so much in the past I wouldn’t be able to let that go forever. I also feel like strength training changes and benefits my body more than cardio does. Lifting weights and building muscle doesn’t come as easy to me as endurance exercises and I feel like challenging yourself is always a good thing. It is interesting that Josh said that he notices more positive change in his body with cardio. Josh is naturally muscular and broad, whereas I am smaller and not so muscular. Maybe you see more changes when you do the thing that doesn’t come as natural to you?

I am way too indecisive to give up strength or cardio forever, and I can’t answer the question. I prefer to focus on one and use the other to complement my training. I do feel that both benefit the other, and that a balanced workout routine is a good thing. I am no fun and am not giving an answer, but I would love to hear yours!

 

2, Fitness goals.

I am always looking ahead with my workout goals. I like having some sort of plan in place to keep me motivated and challenged. Obviously right now it’s the half marathon in May, but after that I am not entirely sure what I would like to do.

I really want to enjoy the summer with Lochlyn. I am thinking I will focus on running outside with the stroller to maintain my endurance, and also go for bike rides with the bike trailer as a family because that sounds fun. I need to take advantage of Josh’s newfound love for cardio while it lasts!

warm winter walk

I want to get stronger – but I don’t want to spend as much time in the gym this summer. We only get 2-3 months of nice weather here, so I want to enjoy it. I am thinking this summer I may make my fitness goal about fun and spending time with my family. In the fall I will reevaluate my goals and possibly focus more on strength training.

Wow, there has been a lot of goal talk around here lately. I told you I love planning. I guess I am still in a planning kind of mood.

 

3. Totally unrelated to all the fitness talk, but Lochlyn’s little tummy is sick, and she is teething, and I feel so bad for her. She was up in the middle of the night last night which never happens. I hope she is feeling better soon because …

lochlyn and baa

4. We are going to Canmore this weekend! Josh and I are dropping Lochlyn off at my parents’ house and spending the weekend together. It is our first time ever leaving Lochlyn so it is kind of a big deal. I am mostly excited, but I know I will miss Lochlyn like crazy.

This trip was my Christmas present to Josh, so he gets to call all the shots about what we do. My only request is that I have time to go for a long run either Saturday or Sunday. Running in the mountains sounds amazing – I hope it stops snowing so I am not stuck on the treadmill.

 

5. My last and final thought is …

I love coffee.

I really missed it while I was pregnant and breastfeeding and didn’t drink it. Now i am drinking it again and it is so, so good.

 coffee loveSource

Have a great Thursday!

 

Strength or cardio? If you had to choose only one for the rest of your life, which would it be and why?

Do you notice more positive changes from strength or cardio? Which are you naturally better at?

You Can Be Fat and Healthy?

Welcome back to Intuitive Tuesday! Not sure what I am talking about? You can visit my Intuitive Tuesday page to learn more.

intuitive tuesday

Today I want to chat a little bit about something that we all do, or at least I do way more than I would like to admit: Judging others, particularly, judging other people’s bodies. I hate that I do this, but this is HonestlyAngela after all, so I really do need to be honest. Before I get into it though, I want to step back for a second and put all this judgement talk into context for you.

I have been noticing a popular trend within our culture lately. Actually I am not quite sure if it is a trend so much as just an aspect of our culture, which makes it even more sad. I am not quite sure I will be able to articulate what I want to say in a way that will accurately explain it, but here it goes….

This trend is something that has been on my mind for a while, but what really got me thinking about it was something that happened a couple of days ago.

It all started when I noticed the uncomfortable chafing between my legs that I sometimes get from running has been getting significantly worse. This post isn’t about chafing, don’t worry! A quick explanation is that I have bigger thighs, and when I run, they rub, and it can get pretty uncomfortable.

Anyway, I decided to google some simple solutions to my problem so I can fix it before it gets too out of hand. My Google search led me to a site that described how to avoid “chub rub”. “Chub rub” is pretty much just chafing between your thighs that happens when you have big legs and you wear dresses and its hot and well… yeah you get the picture.

The site that I ended up on was some sort of “fat pride” site. No, it wasn’t called that, but it seemed to be glorifying being “overweight”. The website made me feel like I was an outsider in this insider’s club of women that were “fat” and proud of it. I never really realized that this club existed before.

I have written about how I believe that it is important to love your body where it is at in this moment, not where you think it should be. I believe this. I believe it is important to love your body whether you are underweight, or overweight, or somewhere in between. I don’t believe that being healthy means falling within a certain BMI range. To me, health is about living a lifestyle that incorporates habits that will help you live a satisfying and full life both physically and emotionally.

definition of healthy

According to that definition, it is possible to be overweight and healthy, and it is possible to be at what is considered a “healthy weight” and still be unhealthy.

What I didn’t like about that website was the way that it glorified being “fat”. I don’t believe that being overweight is something that needs to be celebrated, just like I don’t believe that being “thin” should be idolized and considered better than the alternatives. I also don’t believe that having big muscles, or a big booty, or large breasts, or whatever else should be idealized, and yet there is constantly something new that we think of as desirable. Usually it is crazy exploited by at least one form of media, and leads to us feeling inferior, or lacking.

Our culture has ingrained the belief so deeply within our mindset that thin=good/healthy, fat=bad/unhealthy. I feel like the website I stumbled across was a way for overweight women to speak out against the idea that thinness is ideal. I just don’t think they realize that they are doing the exact same thing as magazines that exploit thinness, only opposite. They are exploiting and idealizing “fatness”. Your body is your own. I believe you have the right to be the best you that you can be, and you should be able to do that without feeling judged.

I am personally attempting to get past the judgemental mindsets of thin vs. fat and healthy vs. unhealthy. I want to learn to stop judging people altogether for their weight and their bodies. I don’t know other peoples’ stories, and I can’t tell how healthy they are from what they look like.

fat quote

Source

I have personal experience that should teach me that health isn’t something that you can see. I feel like I am the healthiest I have ever been, and yet I am a lot heavier than I used to be. At my thinnest I was crazy unhealthy, both emotionally and physically. Even at what was considered a “healthy weight”, I was struggling with an eating disorder that was controlling my life.

There is nothing wrong with being thin, some people can be thin and perfectly “healthy”. There is nothing wrong with being fat if you are living a “healthy” lifestyle for you, and being completely honest with yourself about it. Everyone is different.

Cultivating a positive body image of ourselves is hard enough without feeling judged by the rest of the world. Do yourself and favour and stop judging others. An added bonus to this is that you will stop assuming that everyone else is judging you.

 

Do you agree with my definition of healthy? 

Spring 2015 Goals

This weekend was fantastic. One of the best weekends I have had in a long time. I think that was due to the fact that I had Sunday off from work, with no major plans. I did work one shift on Saturday, but I enjoy my job, and knowing that I had Sunday off made leaving my family a lot more bearable.

Sunday started with a long run on the treadmill because it is crazy snowy outside. Afterwards, Lochlyn and I got ready and met Josh at church. We haven’t been to church as a family in forever. It was actually Lochlyn’s first time going to the nursery! After church Josh and I hung out while Lochlyn napped. Dinner was homemade turkey soup, and then we went to a friend’s house for a quick visit before bed. Such a good day.

lochlyn reading in crib

The reason for that super quick recap is because today I want to talk about my goals for spring. It looks like Christmas outside, but I know that spring is just around the corner. Before I get into my new goals, let’s take a look at some old ones…

 

How I did on my Winter Goals

1. Unplug from technology.

I am not where I want to be, but I feel like I have been more conscious about distracting myself technology, especially my phone. Giving up distracted eating did help with this one (although I have to admit I haven’t been super diligent about this lately).

I would really like to spend less time on Netflix. Last week I was so tired and all I wanted to do while Lochlyn was napping was curl up on the couch and watch Friends episodes. I have been spending less time on technology while she is around though, so that is something. I am happy with how I have improved in this area, and I going to set this goal aside for this season, since it has been something I have bee working on for quite awhile. ACCOMPLISHED. (mostly).

 

2. Pay more attention to my body’s hunger and fullness cues

This is another goal that isn’t entirely black and white. I have been keeping a food journal more often, and despite the fact that sometimes I find it annoying, I think it has helped remind me to pay more attention to my body. I actually found myself skipping dinner a couple times last week because I wasn’t hungry at all. This was probably because my chocolate-covered almond obsession got a little out of hand, but I was happy that I didn’t just eat dinner out of habit. I also learned not to eat a million chocolate almonds an hour before dinner time if I want to eat with my family!

dark chocolate almonds

I feel like I saw enough improvement in this area to say goal ACCOMPLISHED!

 

3. Keep my house tidier

HA. HAHA. HA. Yah you aren’t invited over to my house until I get a chance to clean because it is a crazy gross dirty disaster. For real though, if I am basing this goal on what my house looks like at this moment, major fail. Espeically my kitchen.

My house is always dirtier after the weekend. Part of that is because I have been working all weekend and most meals are a mad rush of preparing without the time to clean. Another reason is that Josh is watching Lochlyn and has yet to master the art of cleaning and babysitting at the same time.

I wish I kept my house cleaner. I feel like I had quite a few really good weeks on the cleaning front during the winter, and also quite a few bad weeks. I am going to give myself grace here and say I didn’t do too bad, I think I even improved in this area. If my house was clean at this moment I may even say goal accomplished. Who am I kidding? FAILED.

 

4. Reconnect with Josh

Married life has been … GREAT! Yay! Josh and I have been speeding quality time together when we can, and it has really helped us out. We went to a marriage course at the beginning of February, and it made such a huge difference for us. We still have the odd bad day, but I feel so much closer to my husband lately, and we have had some really good talks. Life is so much better when your relationship is happy :) Josh and I are going away this weekend, and leaving Lochlyn for the first time ever! I can’t wait. ACCOMPLISHED. I rocked this goal. We both did.

 

spring goals

 

1. Get some structure back into my days.

I am back to loving sleep like crazy lately. I just want to sleep in and go to bed early. When Lochlyn naps I want to lie around and do nothing. I don’t know if it is all the running I have been doing, but relaxing 24-7 just sounds like the best thing ever. No, I am not pregnant!

I want to work on giving my days some structure. I want to make time to relax, and also make time for other things that need to get done. I have given myself schedules in the past while I have full days at home, and it helps me organize my time a lot better. I want to try working on this again.

One of the main things that I want to work at scheduling into my day is spending time with God and reading my bible. I know that doing this makes me a happier, healthier person, yet somehow I always seem to overlook it and spend time doing other things. I am not sure where I will fit it in yet, but I need to do this.

Another reason why I want to work on scheduling my days is to get some cleaning done. It is harder to find time in the summer to clean, so it would be amazing if I could keep the house cleaner for spring. Maybe I can even get some deep cleaning done … maybe.

 

2. Running a Half Marathon

I don’t know if this should even count as a goal. Once I make up my mind about something, it will happen. I am stubborn like that. I know that this will get done unless some crazy circumstance stops me from doing it. Still this has taken up a lot of my time and energy and I want to include it. I am excited. I have been LOVING running lately, and have been seeing huge improvements. A couple months ago those 13 miles sounded impossible. Yesterday I ran 8 miles and it didn’t even feel that hard. 13 miles doesn’t seem so crazy anymore!

 

3. De-cluttering my house

Along with keeping the house cleaner, I would like to get some de-cluttering done. We have so much stuff, and I know that a lot of it we really don’t need. I think it would easier to keep things clean and tidy if we just got rid of it. Also, our house is so far from organized. This is weird because I LOVE organizing. I am going to blame Josh a bit for this one because he is so not good at putting things back where they are supposed to go. Sorry if you are reading Josh, but it is true :).

 

4. Getting better at budgeting and trusting God with our finances.

In the past I have been huge into budgeting. I have about 10 bank accounts, one for groceries and gas, one for date night money, I even have one for my cat! Lately I haven’t been paying as much attention to our finances. I also haven’t been making as much money, and our Visa balance has started creeping up. Typically I like to keep it completely paid off.

I recently cut my hours back at work, so I am going to be making even less money. I want to keep on top of that Visa, but I also want to stop keeping our finances so structured. Josh and I have been through some pretty tight times financially in the past, and yet we have always come out with more than enough. I believe that God will provide for our little family, and I want to work on trusting him with our finances rather than trying to control them myself. That being said, I do believe we have been given responsibility to steward our money and I want to use it as wisely as possible. I have been working on spending less money on groceries because I feel like that is one of our main expenses. Not that there is anything wrong with spending money on food, but I think we could cut back a bit in this area and not notice it much.

 

Some other things that I want to do this spring are…

  • Open up an RESP for Lochlyn (I think this has been on the list since the fall)
  • Enroll Lochlyn in swimming lessons
  • Go to church on Sundays (so miss this!)
  • Book our summer vacations
  • Take Eeyore to the vet
  • Book Lochlyn in at the dentist
  • Get away with Josh for the weekend
  • Reconnect with friends/make new ones
  • Love my body and enjoy it
  • Finish our taxes
  • Take Lochlyn to Menchies (okay, I want Menchies)
  • Get a mountain bike and a bike trailer and go on family bike rides
  • Make plans for landscaping out back yard
  • Take more photos

 

Do you do any spring cleaning? I am more of a fall/winter cleaning person and last fall/winter, I didn’t do any!

What is one of your goals for spring?

I Love Planning Meal Plan!

Happy Friday/Saturday/whatever day you are reading this! I haven’t been around on the blog too much lately. This was a weird week for me. Not that anything out of the ordinary happened, but I have been in a weird mood. I think part of it is it has been overcast and gloomy and cold. Last week we had beautiful spring weather, and this week, the sun seems to be MIA. I have been feeling tired, and a little bit depressed. Half marathon training got a lot more intense last week too, and my body has been feeling it. Also, I haven’t been breastfeeding the past week and a half, and my boobs are sore! I thought the engorged feeling would only last a couple days, but it seems like it never ends. I quit  breastfeeding over a couple months, so I didn’t think I would have to deal with being so sore. I can’t imagine quitting all at once. Ouch!

This past week I have been in major planning mode. I have planned out our summer, and planned out a new work schedule for myself since the old one wasn’t working for me. I also wrote this meal plan earlier in the week, because I just felt this need to plan, plan, plan. Sometimes the organizer in me just can’t get enough of planning. I am a weirdo.

first stroller run

This meal plan was mostly inspired by Budget Bytes (thanks for the recommendation Jessica!). I have never made any of their recipes so I am hoping they are good! I have decided to start only working Saturdays, instead of the whole weekend, and saving money on groceries would really help our budget. I am going grocery shopping today. Hopefully the bill isn’t so steep. Josh also did a Costco trip this week, so I mostly just need to pick up fruit, veggies, and milk.

 

Breakfast Ideas

Lunch Ideas

heavenly hummus wrap

Dinner Ideas

 

Hope you have a great weekend!

 

What are some of your money saving tips for doing groceries?

Are you a planner or a doer or both? I am so much more a planner. Planning is my way of procrastinating actually doing anything!

Black Garbage Bags

Welcome back to Intuitive Tuesday! Not sure what I am talking about? Head on over to the Intuitive Tuesday page to check it out. Let’s get right on into today’s post shall we?

intuitive tuesday

I have four very large garbage bags of old clothes hanging out in my closet. None of the clothes in these garbage bags fit me. They are all too small. These garbage bags don’t even account for all the clothes that I have hanging in my very large walk-in closet that don’t fit me. I have a bit of a problem – I can’t seem to force myself to get rid of all these old clothes.

black garbage bag

 

Source

Over the past couple of years, I have been gradually taking clothes out of my closet that are too-small, and stuffing them into garbage bags. I can’t bring myself to actually donate these clothes, or throw them out, but I figure that if I stuff them into bags, at least that frees up room in my closet, and they are out of sight. Some of these clothes are ten years old. Some of these clothes are from when I was almost ten sizes smaller.

I tell myself that I haven’t gotten rid of these clothes because I am sentimental. This is a tiny bit true. I am sentimental. So many of these clothes hold so many memories, and it is hard to part with them for that reason.  I do have another reason why I haven’t tossed them yet. I keep thinking: “what if I lose weight and start wearing a smaller size again?”. I need to keep all these clothes in case my new and nicer clothes suddenly become too big.

garbage bag quote

Those four, big black garbage bags, are a constant reminder to me of who I used to be. How important it was for me to be small, and thin, and able to fit into the clothes in those bags. They represent my old self, a self that is gone, and yet remains in those bags, one day threatening to return. I tell myself that taking the clothes out of my closet and putting them in those bags is good enough. It is close enough to getting rid of them.

These are the clothes I used to cover my body when I tried so hard to make it perfect. They are what I wore when I spent my time obsessing about what I was going to eat, and when. These are the clothes that I wore while stressing about when my next workout would be, and how many calories I would burn. They are what I wore while spending my life trying to look “better” and shed a few more pounds.

All of those clothes are little pieces of my past self that I have pulled from view, and hidden, but can’t bring myself to part with. Those little pieces are no longer at the forefront of my mind, but they are still there, hiding in secret, just in case I need them.

The other day I lugged all those bags downstairs to my basement, and went through them. I pulled out each individual item of clothing, and weighed the pros and cons of keeping it. I tried on clothes that were ridiculously small. Jeans that I couldn’t even pull up past my thighs. Tops that were so old and out of style and not even expensive to begin with.

I did manage to reduce my four garbage bags down to three. Now I have three big black garbage bags of clothes that are way too small, that I can’t bring myself to get rid of. Just like I have such a hard time parting with the little hope that maybe one day I will be my old size again.

I have discussed it, and I believe it. To truly eat intuitively, you need to accept your body, and learn to love yourself where you are at. If you beat yourself up for your size or shape, you are going to consciously or unconsciously try to improve what you look like, through the way that you eat and/or exercise. It is  hard to eat intuitively when you have the little thought in the back of your head that you should be eating differently, and that your body should look a certain way.

I accept what my body looks like now, but I still have that hidden hope that someday it will be different. That thought is no longer at the forefront of my mind. It is mostly out of sight, but I haven’t quite let it go.

mom swimsuit

Maybe this is because I have these black garbage bags tucked away in my closet, that no one sees except for me. Black garbage bags taking up precious space that I could use for other things. Black garbage bags that hold nothing but …. garbage.

I am mad at myself for keeping these little clothes around as long as I have. I am also proud of myself for reducing those bags from five to four, from four to three. I have to remind myself that this intuitive eating thing is about baby steps. I may not have rid myself from my body image issues entirely at this point, but I have reduced them, and I am working on it.

I want to say that I am going to toss all those garbage bags full of clothes the minute I get this posted, but the truth is I probably won’t. I think I am going to ask Josh to go through them with me, and help me decide what to actually keep. I am going to try to reduce my three garbage bags down to two. Maybe in a few months my two, will become one. I trust that this is what is happening to my body image issues as well. I am slowly tossing them out, and along with all those issues, I hope that eventually my hidden desire to drop a couple sizes will eventually disappear.

It is so great that my mind isn’t ruled by what I think about my body anymore. Thoughts about being thin don’t control me, even if sometimes they are still there. How great would it be if eventually I was able to get rid of them all, just like those silly black garbage bags?

 

 

Do you hang on to old clothes that don’t fit anymore? How come?

How about any hidden desires/hopes that your body will change and look different?

To Work or Not to Work?

Good morning and happy Monday! I don’t have a lot of time, but I just wanted to check in quick and say hi.

This weekend was crazy busy, and not in a fun or good way either. I worked my first full eight hour days both Saturday and Sunday. It wasn’t my favourite. I didn’t like saying goodbye to Lochlyn, and leaving her for that long, even with Josh. I 100% trust him, but I also miss her so much.

josh and lochlyn at menchies

I think this weekend was especially hard on Josh, and I don’t blame him. He works fairly long days Monday-Friday, so it is a lot for him to be watching Lochlyn all weekend too without a break. Along with my eight hour work shifts, I do my long runs on the weekend, and have to get ready for work. Josh ends up watching Lochlyn most of the day. He tried putting her down to sleep at night for the first time this weekend too, and that didn’t go so well. Poor guy just wasn’t made to be a mom I guess!

This weekend was a good test to see if we can handle me working full days Saturday and Sunday. The verdict is: we can do it, but to be honest, I don’t want to. I was feeling a little guilty about this. So many woman work full-time and leave their kids at child care. Lots of moms work evenings and their husbands work days, they hardly see each other. I was feeling like I should just suck it up and get my butt to work. I had to realize that what works best for other people, may not be the best for us.

I really enjoy my job. I am working at a local retail store, and I don’t make a lot of money, but the people are awesome, and the job is fun. I do a lot of random jobs at the store, including sales, merchandising, social media, blogging, and writing training manuals. I would love to be a professional writer, so this is great experience for me. It is nice to get out of the house, and be me, apart from the me that is a mom.

stroller run

Despite loving my job, I don’t love leaving my little family for so long. Summer is coming, and if I am working all weekend, every weekend, I am going to be missing out a lot! My job doesn’t pay a ton, so it is hard to justify losing my weekends, for the amount of money that I am making, but we are feeling my reduced income as it is, and the little that I am making does really help us out.

I also feel like Josh is a better dad when he isn’t playing mom. He wasn’t cut out to be at home all day with a little one, just like some woman are better moms when they work full-time, and some are better moms when they stay at home.

This has been my dilemma all weekend. I have been pondering my options, and I have settled on the three that I think would work the best for our family.

My first option is to work even less hours than I already do. I think I could handle working a couple Saturdays a month, and possibly a couple evening shifts. This would probably average out to around 20 hours a month. I am not convinced it would be worth it for the amount of money I would be making. It would also be a big stretch for us financially, but I think I may be willing to try it.

Another possibility would be to ask my employer if there is any work I can do from home. I am not good at asking for things. I should have discussed this with them when I came back from maternity leave, but for some reason I couldn’t find the confidence to do it. For most of the written work that I do for them, I need access to their internal Intranet. Presently, this is only accessible from the shop. I am not sure that this would be an option, but if I don’t ask, I will never know.

My third option is to quit. I am not sure how I feel about this one. Despite being so busy this weekend, I had a good time working. As I mentioned above, I like my job. I also don’t want to give it up entirely. I don’t make a ton there, but this job is a security net for me. I know that if we were in a bind I could always pick up more hours. At the same time, if I quit, it would free up so much time in the summer that we could spend camping, and bike riding and enjoying the nice weather while we have it.

I think the answer to my dilemma lies somewhere in between all of these options. The best solution I can think of is to schedule a meeting with my employer, and be honest with them about how I am feeling. I am not the best communicator in person, and would so rather write them an e-mail, but I think talking about it would really help. They may have some other ideas that I haven’t even thought of. My goal for today is to schedule a meeting to chat. My secondary goal is to pray that I know what to do, and that everything will work out.

This grown-up thing is hard. Being a parent makes it even harder because you have a little life to consider in all your decisions. I need to balance giving Lochlyn great family life at home, with being able to provide for her financially. I also have to consider Josh!

0814newfamily

This post ended up being a lot longer than I intended, but it was great to get my thoughts out there and figure this whole work thing out. If you made it through, thanks for listening!

 

Next Weeks Plan: Sleeping and Eating

I am back to sleeping way too much again! Actually I alternate between not sleeping a whole lot when I wake up early to go for a run, and sleeping too much on my non-running mornings. Today I was planning to wake up early and do a strength work-out, but I couldn’t drag myself out of bed. My legs have been feeling super tired lately, and as I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I have been getting bored of strong lifts. Khushboo shared a really great post the other day about the negative affects of cortisol (the stress hormone) on your body, and over-training. It made me think I need to give my muscles a bit of a break. Doing heavy squats three days a week, and running or doing some other cross training five days a week hasn’t been easy.  I made a last minute decision to sleep in (again!).

It is supposed to be really nice out today, so I think I will take Lochlyn for a quick and easy jog in the stroller this afternoon. I have yet to try out our jogging stroller, but I have heard that running with a stroller is hard work!

christmas market walk

I have our meal plan ready to share with you all today. I went a little bit crazy on Ree Drummond’s website this morning. I have yet to make a recipe of hers that Josh and I both didn’t love, so a ton this week’s recipes come from her site! I also went a little bit cheese-crazy. I have been craving melty, delicious cheese this past week, so I decided to listen to my body, and make it the theme of this week’s recipes. I am actually lactose intolerant, but I have been finding that I can eat high-quality cheeses, and yogurt with little side effects. My stomach doesn’t usually handle dairy, and neither does my skin, but I have been doing pretty good on the break-out front, and my stomach has been awesome. I will let you know what happens after this week’s cheese-fest though.

Lochlyn has been eating pretty much everything the same as us now. She even tried peanut butter yesterday! The only thing on the menu this week that she won’t be eating is the shrimp from the Coconut Shrimp Curry recipe. She will have the rice with curry sauce of course since she loves it, I will just take some out for her before I add the shrimp. She will have it with leftovers from another night. Leftovers are the best!

no leftovers

No leftovers when this girl is done. She licks that bowl clean!

Breakfast Ideas

Lunch Ideas

Dinner Ideas

Lochlyn’s New Foods

  • Chia seeds
  • Honey

Have a great weekend!

 

Please share your favourite websites for finding new recipes with me! 

What’s your favourite pre-run meal (if you are running 7-10 miles)?

 

Cat Wars!

I have been missing sharing my thoughts with you guys, but lately life hasn’t been cooperating. Lochlyn seems to be sleeping in this morning though, so I am going to get some Thinking out Loud done while I can. Thanks Amanda for hosting!

thinking out loud

1. Last night was the first night that I haven’t breastfed Lochlyn before bed. I was nervous we would have a hard time getting her to go to sleep, but she fell asleep right away without crying. I am happy to say that she slept through the whole entire night and is still asleep at 7:45 AM as I type up this post! I have been so blessed with this little one. She is such a good sleeper.

happy baby in crib

I guess this means that I am done breastfeeding. I am proud and happy to say that I made it for a full year. Breastfeeding is a lot of work and it’s super time consuming. I am so happy that I had the opportunity to share this bonding time with my baby, but I am excited that it is done and we can move on to the next stage in her little life.

napping with mommy

Quitting breastfeeding wasn’t the easiest decision to make. I knew that I wanted to stop at the 1 year mark, but it took me quite a while to feel ready. We quit gradually and I think this really helped prepare me. By the time Lochlyn was finished, I didn’t feel sad about it at all. I am excited to have more time with her for doing other things. It will also be nice to have Josh put her down at night sometimes. I am planning to have lots of bubble baths while he tucks her in. I haven’t had a bath since before I was pregnant (except for while I was in labor, and the occasional bath I have had with Lochlyn, but those don’t count!).

2. I am getting bored of Stronglifts. For those of you that have been reading for awhile, you know that I have been training for my first half marathon, which is in May. Along with all the running I’ve been doing, I decided to follow the Stronglifts program in order to maintain (and maybe even gain) some muscle. Stronglifts has been great, and I’m not quite ready to throw in the towel yet, but I am getting there. This week I haven’t been loving my workouts, and I have just been feeling tired. The workouts are repetitive, and I think I may enjoy changing up the strength routine a bit. I will let you know!

3. We have had some major “cat wars” going on in our backyard. Guys, this is probably the most exciting thing that will happen to me this week (besides giving up breastfeeding) so I have to tell you about it. For the past few days, we have had multiple cats visit our yard. Eeyore HATES all other cats, so she hasn’t been too happy about it.

dominio and eeyore fight

We have this one cat that frequents our yard often that I have affectionately nicknamed “Nemesis”. This is because Eeyore hates this cat the most. She gets so mad, hisses and spits and grunts, and puffs right up whenever this cat is in our yard. Nemesis is black and has long fur and yellow eyes. It is totally creepy when the two fight. Eeyore is an indoor cat so the fighting happens on either side of our kitchen window, but it is still scary!

The other day we had two other cats visit our yard too. They looked like they were in-between the kitten and cat stage, and they were so sweet and so cute. Of course Eeyore hated them too. Then Nemesis showed up and one of the big kittens and Nemesis stared at each other for a good hour before one of them backed down. The big kitten won! I am pretty sure if Eeyore was allowed outside she would have killed all of them, or at least chased them all out of our yard!

cat wars

Yes, we seriously need a new fence!

4. I bought my first “mom” swimsuit you guys! I have always been a two-piece swimsuit kind of girl, but I wanted something a little more modest because I plan to put Lochlyn in swimming lessons. The swimsuit I chose is an Esther Williams one piece that I bought off Amazon, and I love it. I think that it looks really retro, and the fit is pretty flattering and really fun. It also is pretty full coverage and holds everything in if you know what I mean. I would definitely recommend it. Especially if you have little ones that you have to chase after in the pool!

mom swimsuit

 

Whenever I take seflies I seem to have embarrassing objects showing up in the background. Ignore the bra hanging from my closet door!

5. I have had such an unproductive week as far as cleaning goes and my house is really showing it. Today I plan to get as much cleaning done as I can. I got my run in super early this morning, so the rest of my day is free. Hopefully I can get a lot done. Cleaning with a baby takes twice as long as cleaning alone!

On that note, I am going to end this while Lochlyn is still sleeping so I can start when she wakes up! I have so much more to tell you, but I guess that will have to wait until next Thursday!

Happy almost Friday to all the lucky peeps that get the weekend off!

 

One-piece swimsuits, or two-piece? Tankinis or bikinis? I like one-piece or bikinis, depending on where I am wearing it!

How do you feel about cats? I won’t be offended if you say no!