Category: Running

My First Ever Half Marathon … Sorta…

I know it’s Tuesday, which means it is time for Intuitive Tuesday, but I am going to switch it up today and talk about the half marathon I ran over a week ago. I have been wanting to get this post up for awhile now, and here it finally is! For those of you that don’t know, I was signed up to run the Woody’s Half Marathon in Red Deer on May 17th.


Last Sunday I was signed up to run my first ever half marathon. I have been training since January, and this was a big deal for me. I put my heart and soul into running, and was so excited for race day.

pre race half marathon

I did everything I could possibly think of to prepare. A few days before the race I started paying attention to what I was eating. I tried to eat mostly healthy foods that I didn’t think would upset my stomach. The night before I made my usual pasta dinner that I had practiced eating before long runs. I packed my race bag, which contained a change of clothes, body glide, and extra hair elastics. I laid out my race-day clothes, and filled up my fuel belt and some extra water bottles for before and after the run. I also made sure that I had my favorite Gu gels in my fuel belt and packed an extra one just in case. I studied the course map, and charged my cell phone.

I was as ready as I could be.

I have talked about it a bit on the blog in the past, but I have been seeing a physio about a  running injury that I developed during training. The physio has had me stretching every 90 minutes to prepare for race day. I have also been doing hip strengthening exercises, and tons of foam rolling.

On the morning of the race, Josh and I woke up bright and early and drove into Red Deer. It was really chilly, and we had to move around to keep warm. With 10 minutes until the start time I visited the port-potties. I also downed a Gu gel to fuel my first few miles and took an ibuprofen just in case my knee started to hurt.

tying shoe at race


I guess I also re-tied my shoes!

All that was left to do was run. I wasn’t even nervous. I was excited, pumped, and ready to do this. After the countdown, we all were off. I think there were about 800 people registered for the race. We ran close together the first for the first bit, down a road and onto the trail system in Red Deer. It was perfect weather once we started moving, it was beautifully sunny outside. I was feeling great. My pace felt good, and I made sure to constantly remind myself not to go too fast. My goal for the race was just to finish. I didn’t want to worry about time, since I was recovering from an injured knee. I made sure to pay extra attention to my form, and whether I was running up or down hill. At the one mile mark, they had someone yelling out times, and I was shocked that I was running just over nine minute miles. I felt like I was going at an easy pace, but I slowed down even more.

half marathon 3 km

Not too long after the one mile mark, I started to notice that my form was off. I was running with a bit of a limp. My right knee felt tender and slightly sore. It has felt this way pretty consistently for the past few weeks and it wasn’t unbearably painful so I didn’t think much of it. I decided to slow down even more just to be safe.

My limp kept getting worse, and worse, and I started to feel quite a bit more pain in my knee. By now I had reached the 5km mark. I downed another Gu gel, and tried to keep running, but it didn’t feel right. I stopped to walk and stretch out my quads a bit before running again. My knee was consistently getting worse, and I couldn’t force myself to run without a limp.

This was when I started to realize I physically wouldn’t be able to run 21.1 km. I contemplated pushing through the pain and injury, but it was feeling more and more impossible with every step. I slowed to a limping walk and called Josh to let him know what was going on. I intended to ask him for advice, but once he was on the phone I knew that it was over. I explained the situation the best I could, while trying to hold back shaky tears. After calling Josh, I phoned my mom. My parents were babysitting Lochlyn, and had planned to watch me cross the finish line. I let her know that she didn’t need to come, and that I wasn’t going to be able to do it.

I limped my way to the 6km mark. There was a porta-potty stop, and some fans cheering on the runners. I stood waiting for Josh and watched all the other runners pass by. It occurred to me that I should cheer them on, but I didn’t have it in me. It took everything I had to fight the tears that threatened to pour down my face at any moment.

After waiting about 15 minutes, I saw Josh walking towards me. As soon as he was close enough, I grabbed onto him so tight, and let the tears come. We attempted to walk back to the car, but at this point I couldn’t put any weight on my injured knee at all. The car was too far away, so he left to go get it. I sat down in the wet grass, and watched the rest of the runners pass by. I started out closer to the front of the pack, and by the time I left, I am pretty sure I saw every last runner, down to the ones that planned to walk the entire full or half marathon distance.

Some younger runners that participated in the earlier 10k event started talking to the spectators that were close to me. The first one had won and set a new PR. The second had won first place in the female category for 10k. It was hard not to feel sorry for myself while listening to them, but I also felt inspired by their enthusiasm and their stories.

Finally Josh came back with the car and we drove home to ice my knee. I am pretty sure I cried most of the way home, both from pain, and from disappointment.

At home I was greeted by my parents, and my little one. Everyone took amazing care of me. My mom massaged my calf and made sure I was icing lots, Josh constantly fetched me everything I could need, and my dad kept me company. Of course Lochlyn also gave me plenty of cuddles.

I parked myself on the couch, and didn’t move for hours. My knee didn’t seem to be getting better at all, and I started to get worried. Josh ended up taking me to emergency at the hospital just to make sure everything was okay.

About three hours later I was leaving the hospital on crutches, with a Zigglar splint for my knee. Turns out my knee is nothing serious or permanent. I am still dealing with the same Patello-femoral pain syndrome injury I had before, I just made it a lot worse. I also have developed some bursitis in my knee. My calf muscle is damaged from running with a limp for so long, but that should heal quickly.

zigglar splint

The rest of the evening was spent on the couch, eating sushi, and trying not to feel guilty about my injury.

I think the hardest part of the day wasn’t not being able to finish the half marathon. The hardest part was not being able to take care of my baby girl. I can’t walk without crutches, and I wasn’t able to put any weight on my right leg at all for quite a few days. I couldn’t carry Lochlyn, lift her up, get her things, chase after her, or hold her hands and help her walk. It broke my heart.

playing on floor in room

I have an awesome family. Josh has been waiting on me hand and foot. Now that he is back at work my mom is here helping out with Lochlyn. I don’t know what I would do without them.

I obviously won’t be running for awhile. That makes me sad, but it isn’t that big of a deal compared to having the use of my right knee. I am so thankful that I don’t have a serious injury, and that it will heal and be back to normal. That is so much more important to me than being able to run a half marathon.

That being said, I am not giving up on running. I plan to let this injury heal and pick out a new half marathon to conquer when my body is ready!

3 km half marathon


Stay tuned for a WIAW post tomorrow featuring my Intuitive Eating Journal!

Forced to Exercise Intuitively

Be prepared for a bit of a whiney Intuitive Tuesday Wednesday post today. I apologize in advance for my complaining, but it does have a purpose!

intuitive tuesday

I have mentioned it a couple of times on the blog – but I am having some knee problems. This is disappointing as I am signed up to run my first half marathon this weekend. I have been training since January, and I would be so disappointed if I couldn’t do it. Right now my knee hurts pretty consistently, and is made a lot worse by running.

icing at the computer

After trying to run a couple times last week and having to stop almost right away and walk, I decided to visit a physio. The clinic that I went to specializes in sports -related injuries. The physio I saw focused my treatment around preparing me to run this weekend, which I thought was awesome.

My suspicion was confirmed that I have patello-femoral pain syndrome, or “runner’s knee”. My kneecap isn’t aligning correctly in the knee joint. The repetitive pounding it has taken from running is causing irritation under my knee cap.This isn’t the worst news. It is something that can heal over time, without any long-lasting consequences.

The reason that I have this misalignment is that I have a weak right hip. I also have a really tight IT band. Both of these things are pulling my knee off to one side when I run, or squat, or walk, or .. well you get it.

The physio showed me how to do a low-impact hip strengthening exercise and instructed me to do it daily up until my race. She also told me to do standing quad stretches every 90 minutes, and foam roll my IT band once or twice a day. While I was at the clinic she did some deep tissue massage to loosen up my right quad, and used an electrode machine (I don’t know it’s actual name) to help with the pain (it feels so weird!). She also taped my knee with KT tape, but unfortunately that already peeled off.

I have another appointment scheduled for tonight. My physio is hopeful that I will be able to run this weekend, but I will have to take some time off afterwards to allow my knee to heal. This is kind of sad news, but I am also excited to correct my muscle imbalance so that when I start running again I will be even stronger and hopefully won’t get injured!

Going in to half marathon training, I thought it would be very difficult to exercise intuitively. I had my training plan all laid out, and throughout I would have to stick with it in order to be successful on race day. I was very wrong.

Since I started running, I think I have exercised more intuitively than ever before. With a race goal in mind, I have had to pay extra attention to my body and how it is feeling. I have missed some shorter runs or cross-training days so that I would be well-rested and ready to run on my long run days. I have missed workouts because I was sick, or because my little girl was sick, or teething, or just plain needed me.

lochlyn cuddling me

I have learned that sometimes rest days are more effective than running days. I have learned that my body is different than everyone else’s, and the plan I am following wasn’t written specifically for me. Sometimes my body may need more rest, or a different type of workout than the what is written on the schedule. If I stuck with the plan 100% of the time, I wouldn’t be able to run this weekend. My knee would be shot, and my body would be too tired. I actually wish I had followed the plan even less, and given myself a few more rest days, or easier running days.

I am also learning to be okay with not exercising. By the time I hit race day, I won’t have run more than two miles in exactly two weeks. I actually won’t have run at all in ten days. The cross training that I have done during that time has been pretty minimal. Even riding the bike seems to make my knee feel worse. My body needs rest right now more than it needs cardio. My knee needs a chance to recover so that it is ready to go on race day.

The competitive nature in me is a little disappointed. I had a time goal I wanted to hit on Sunday, and I have had to let that go in favour of the goal of simply finishing.

I think that this is all for the best as I now can go into the race and simply have fun and enjoy it without worrying about pushing myself.

If training for a race didn’t come with challenges it wouldn’t be such a big accomplishment!


What has taught you the most about exercising intuitively and listening to your body?

Ever had an injury affect your training? How did you deal with it?

Running with Injuries

I have some rambling thoughts about running that I want to share with you guys today. Since it fits with the theme, I am going to be linking up with Amanda for some Thinking out Loud Action.

thinking out loud

I think my body is revolting against the fact that I have a half marathon planned in 11 days. My knee has been giving me a pretty hard time the past few weeks, and last weekend it was at its worst. I had to work on Saturday, and I ended up calling Josh and asking him to bring me different shoes half way into my shift. I work on my feet all day, and even standing was painful.

I woke up feeling pretty good on Sunday morning, and like the crazy person that I am, I decided to try heading out for my long run. I went out thinking I would only run 6-8 miles depending on how my body was feeling, but brought enough fuel for the 10 miles that I had originally planned just in case. About 3 miles into the run I decided to run the full 10. There were a few painful moments on that run, but overall I felt pretty good.

run lake


My run on Sunday

Now, I don’t feel so good. I tried running on Tuesday, but I only made it about 2 miles before my knee was bothering me more than usual. I turned around and tried to run home, but I couldn’t ignore the pain, and ended up walking instead.

On Tuesday night, my left calf started really hurting. I think it is weird that it didn’t start while I was running or right after, but by Wednesday morning it was pretty painful to walk on it.

So frustrating! I have 10 days to go until race day, and I feel like I haven’t gotten a really good run in for awhile since my body hasn’t been 100%. Now I have this dilemma about how I should finish up my training.

I see my options as being…

a). Try to run as planned, but stop if it gets really painful. Also, do my usual cross training on the bike, and strength-training for the next week (I would ease up on leg work though), and then start a more dramatic taper than I had originally planned.

b). Take it really easy and let my body recover. Lay off the strength training, cross training, and especially running until I am feeling back to normal, which may mean no more workouts until race day.

Option b seems like the responsible thing to do but it freaks me out a little bit. Everything that I have read says that a two week taper is perfectly okay for a half marathon, but I feel like a getting a couple more short and fast runs in would help to boost my confidence. Also, is a ten day, super-dramatic taper okay? I was planning to reduce my workouts more gradually.

Running has required me to listen to my body. I heard an interview the other day, with a very experienced running coach, and he was talking about how he creates training plans for his clients. He explained that he doesn’t typically plan far in advance, and sometimes he only makes plans a week at a time. He always keeps the athletes’ goals in mind, but even more importantly, he pays attention to their bodies and how they are feeling and writes plans based off of that.

I am such a planner. One of the things I have loved about half marathon training is planning my schedule out months in advance. Maybe I need to allow for some more spontaneity so I can listen to my body better. I thought that exercising intuitively would be really hard while training for a half marathon, but it turns out that it is necessary. Your body takes a lot, and if you don’t listen to it, or treat it well, it is going to be really hard to finish your race without come race day.

happy swing

I guess a pretty dramatic taper wouldn’t be the worst thing ever. It would mean I get to spend more time with my favourite little one!


Are you good at listening to your body when it needs a break? Nope, but I am working on it!

 Runners – any tips or advice for me? How long do you taper for a half marathon? How much do you taper?

April 24th Meal Plan

If you are a regular reader around here, you may have noticed that I have been a lot less present on the blog lately. I always have good intentions to write posts, but life has been getting in the way. I guess it is more like I have been choosing other things instead of blogging. Lately my choices have been running, working, cleaning, laundry, and watching Netflix.

Half marathon training is in full effect now. This weekend I run 10 miles, which is the longest distance I will be running before my race. My half marathon is on May 17th, so I still have three long runs left – I will be alternating 10 mile and 9 mile runs until it gets here.

My short runs are now 5 miles long. This may not sound long to an experienced runner, but it feels long to my tired legs. I am spending almost 2.5 hours running a week, and doing another 2 hours of cross training and almost 2.5 hours of strength training. I am happy that all this training will only be happening for a few more weeks. I can’t imagine training for a full marathon! Not that I am complaining – I am pretty excited!

Enough running talk – I wanted to stop in today with a meal plan for the week. I didn’t get to sharing one last week. Teething (Lochlyn is getting four teeth at once) + 2 days of extra work + all the running = one way too tired mama. I missed having a meal plan, and want to bring it back. Meals the past week weren’t the greatest.

lochlyn eating spoon

Breakfast Ideas

  • Wholewheat Blueberry Pancakes with chopped strawberries
  • Green smoothie and toast
  • Apple cheddar omelette (Lochlyn loves this!)
  • Overnight oats
  • Egg white oatmeal
  • Egg Scramble with all the leftover veggies, rice, and whatever else i can fin din the fridge!

Lunch Ideas

I seriously haven’t had much of an appetite at lunch time lately. Nothing just sounds all that good. I have mostly been eating hummus wraps but I would like to change that. The thing is, I haven’t been feeling like taking the time to prepare anything. I had a really hard time even finding recipes that appealed to me. I typically try to eat meat-free at lunch to save a little cash. Ideas?

  • Warm tofu salad with feta
  • Edamame hummus salad

Dinner Ideas


  • veggies and hummus/tzatziki
  • smoothies
  • I want to whip up a batch of muffins – maybe I will find the time!

And that’s a wrap. I am super hungry. I am going to go make some breakfast. I have some super ripe bananas sitting on the counter that need to be made into some egg white oatmeal ASAP.

eating funny face lochlyn

Have a great weekend!


I need some lunch ideas – please inspire me!

Runners that use Gu to fuel long runs/races – What is your favourite flavour? I am trying to figure out what flavours to use for my half. So far I am liking Espresso Love and Caramel Macchiato. This surprises me as I thought I would be all about the fruity flavours.


My First Race Ever

On Saturday I ran in my first race ever. At least, it was what I would consider my first race ever. I have done a couple fun 5k events that I didn’t train for, most as fundraisers. I wouldn’t count them as “real” races. I didn’t track my time in them, and I didn’t even get a bib. The bib is what makes a race legit, am I right?

10k pre race

Anyways, on Saturday I ran my very first 10K race, and I am really happy with how it went. I will share my results with you, but first, here is a quick little recap of the race…

Josh and I drove down to stay at my parent’s house in Cochrane on Friday night. The race was in Calgary, about a half hour drive from my parents’ place, so we stayed there the night before for convenience. I packed dinner for myself to eat in the car, and Josh and Lochlyn got dinner on the way down. I was too scared to eat out the night before a race. I also wanted to treat my 10k as practice for my upcoming half marathon, and wanted to test out some pre-race fuel. I had pasta, with tomato sauce and ground turkey for anyone who is curious.

Anyways, we got to my parents’ house, put Lochlyn to bed, hung out with my parents for a bit, and then Josh and I both went to bed early. I thought that there was no way I would be able to sleep, but I actually slept really well. Int he morning I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm, excited and ready to go.

My pre-race routine included making a quick breakfast to eat in the car, getting dressed, and making sure the bag I packed the night before had everything that I needed in it. Breakfast was a blueberry bagel, with a little bit of peanut butter and jelly. I ate this an hour and 15 minutes before the race.

Josh and I arrived at the race location around 8:30 am. We wanted to be there early because we were worried about parking. Also, I wanted to make sure I was organized, and not arriving last minute.

The race as put on by a local MEC (one of my most favourite stores ever). There wasn’t a lot going on at the race location to distract me before the race. I guess that is what is expected when you only pay $15 for a race! As the starting time neared, I found myself getting intimidated, as I looked at the runners around me. They all looked so experienced, and were doing different activities to warm up. Most of them were decked out in really nice running gear and I found myself checking out everyone’s shoes. I love running shoes. I ended up walking around with Josh, as I usually just walk for a few minutes to warm up before a run.

One thing that the race location did have was porta-potties – yay! Before I knew it I was in line to hit them up and then I was watching the 15k racers leave for their race. I was surprised how not-nervous I actually was. I think it helped that I have ran 14k during training runs, so I knew that I could run 10K already.

When it was almost time for the 10k race to start, they gathered us all together, and walked us through some warm-up stretches. It was a small race. There was 171 people that participated in the 10k, and a total of 550 runners in all the events. The race ended up being completely sold out.

10k warm-up


Hip circles anyone?


Before I knew it, they were counting us down, and we were off!

10 k race start

I started out in the middle of the pack, and was feeling pretty good. I ended up passing quite a few people at the beginning of the race, which may have been a mistake because  the little hill at the start of the race turned into a big hill. Like a big, steep, 5k long hill. I should have known since the name of the race was “The Hill Climb”.

I looked at elevation charts before the race, but I didn’t think the hill was as steep or as long as it turned out to be. I was under the impression that after the first 2 miles, it would be pretty flat. We arrived at the 2.5 km water station, which served as a turnaround for the runners doing the 5k. I couldn’t believe that I had made it up the hill that far, I considered stopping to walk, but since I thought that the hill would flatten out shortly, I kept going … and going … and going. I have to admit I also had fantasies about turning around at the 5k mark and running 5k instead of 10. I was so tired, but I talked myself into going on.

The hill didn’t stop at 2 miles. I ended up having to slow my pace right down to make it up the massive hill. So many runners around me stopped for walking breaks, and I was so tempted, but I felt like if I stopped to walk, I would lose momentum, and probably wouldn’t give the race 100% of my effort.

I kept running, and boy was I relieved to see the 5k marker and turnaround point. I don’t know if I could have run much farther up that hill, let alone run the rest of the way back to the start. The one good thing about running uphill on “out and back” courses, is that it means that you get to run downhill after. I was so thankful for the downhill. There were a few dips in the course, and those small hills felt pretty painful after running that huge one!

My original goal was to start upping my pace after the 5k turnaround, but I had to change my plans since I was so exhausted from that huge hill. I used the declines to catch my breath and I did sprint down some of the bigger hills. At the 6k mark, I finally started feeling better, and upped my pace. At this point I was being passed by a lot of the 15k-ers, who were sprinting down the hills crazy fast. I don’t know how they had the energy to do it, but I soon found myself picking up the pace and sprinting down the hills too. I ran the last km as fast as I could, and I thought my lungs would burst. The race ended with a short stretch uphill. Since I knew the race was almost over, I didn’t slow down, but kept my pace just as fast as it had been running down the last stretch of hills. So hard.

10k finish sprint

As I was running to the finish line I could read the clock enough to see it said 56 .. something. I was so excited.

10k finish line

I darted into the finish line and immediately started searching for Josh. It was so awesome to have him there waiting for me. My parents were also watching with Lochlyn, and I loved seeing them all, after I caught my breath anyways!

josh and lochlyn at race

We chatted for a bit, but I was so anxious to check my time. They had the results posted online, and used my phone to check the website. I couldn’t believe what I saw. I mean, I saw it on the clock as I was running across the finish line, but I was still really happy with how fast I ran: 56:06! My average pace was 9:04 minute miles. 13 seconds faster than my goal! I couldn’t believe I ran at that pace because of the monster hill I was faced with. That was intense.

There are a few things that I would change if I ran the race again. The biggest thing is that I would have started the race off a lot slower. That hill was crazy, and I didn’t realize how crazy it was until I was half way up it. I would have liked to run the second half of the race faster, and running the first part slower would have allowed me more energy to do so. I also would have pinned my bib lower down on my shirt. As I mentioned, this was my first time wearing a bib, and it kept smacking me in the face. So annoying! Another thing that was different about this race, was that I didn’t track it at all while I was running. I actually haven’t bothered to buy a garmin, and I have just been using an app on my phone to track my running. I have a pocket on my jacket that I can use to hold my phone, but when I am dressed lighter, I have no way of holding it other than in my hand. I decided to leave the phone behind and run by feel. That was hard. I think I may have been more motivated to pick up speed if I knew that I was actually making decent time. I also would have been more likely to slow down if I knew how fast I was actually running up that hill.

Other than that, I was really happy with how everything went. I know that I tried my very best, and that was what made finishing such a great feeling!

out of breath 10k



Runners – what was your first race ever? Do you like the race atmosphere, or do you prefer running solo/with a running buddy?


Running and Baby Woes

I don’t have a lot of time this morning, but I wanted to stop by and fill you in what I have been thinking about lately. Check out Amanda’s link up for some more Thinking out Loud action.

thinking out loud

1. I have been having issues with my knee the past week or so. I know that it is running related because every time that I run, it starts to hurt again. I have learned from a little online research that I should stay off my knee completely until it heals. Admittedly, I haven’t been doing this, but I have been taking it easy, and really paying attention to how knee is feeling. I have been icing it three times a day and stretching it regularly and it is about 100 times better than it was last week. I am hoping that it will be at 100% soon enough.

One of the hardest things I am finding about training for a half marathon is the dedication required. I work out very regularly, but I still find it hard to go for a run when life gets in the way. It is hard to find the time when I am visiting with family, travelling, or my knee is extra sore. Sometimes running has to go on the back burner, and sometimes life does. It is all a balancing act, and I am still figuring it out.

I am LOVING running more and more all the time though. I have already started thinking about when I will be able to do another race (and I haven’t even done this one yet!). Time will tell I guess, but it is so fun having a goal and training to do the best that you can with it.


2. Yesterday was the first day of lent, and Amanda mentioned giving something up in her post today. It got me thinking that I want to as well. I don’t usually observe lent. I am a Christian, but I am not Catholic, and I think giving something up for lent is more of a Catholic tradition. Still, I like the idea of it, and the spiritual significance that it holds.

I have decided to give up distracted eating. Okay, so I have talked a lot about trying to eat less distractedly, and I think overall I have improved in this area. It is something that I would still like to do better with, both for my sake and for Lochlyn’s. For lent I would like to quit eating in front of the computer, while reading, and most especially while browsing my phone. I want to be more intentional with what I eat, and how I eat it.

Lately I have found myself standing at my cupboard/fridge, and grabbing a snack while I chase after my baby, or while I am cooking dinner. I plan on slowing down, sitting down, and purposefully eating, rather than eating on the go.

Lochlyn takes forever to eat, and I often lose patience, and find myself reaching for my cell phone for entertainment, while I am feeding her spoonfuls. I don’t want to pass on this bad habit to her, and I don’t want her to have to compete with my phone for attention.

smoothie wave

I know I am a day late, but I am going to do this for lent (minus a day). I don’t plan on never eating distractedly again, but cutting it out for this season, hopefully with make me more aware of it in the long term.


3. I just wanted to whine a little bit about Lochlyn’s sleeping habits as of late. I don’t know what is up with that girl! Before she got sick a few weeks ago, she was falling asleep by herself at night, and sleeping for at least 12 hours, sometimes more. I often would have to wake her up in the morning, because she wouldn’t stop sleeping. Her naps were often 2 hours long each. She was sleeping like crazy. Even before she was sleeping this much, she would always go down at night all by herself, without crying or fussing.

Lately she does not want to fall asleep by herself, and she often isn’t sleeping well through the night. She isn’t sick anymore, so I am not sure what is going on. When I put her down in her crib at night and leave the room, she freaks out. Like not just sad crying, but very angry crying. She sits up in her crib, and bounces up and down, and screams. I think she may be learning how to have a temper tantrum. When I go back in the room to calm her down she is covered in sweat, and so upset. Poor thing, I wish I knew what was going on with her.

In the past we let Lochlyn cry a bit at night to teach her to sleep by herself. This time around it has been really hard for me to let her cry when she is clearly so upset, and this so isn’t like her. Hopefully this is just a phase and we can get over it soon.


4. One more baby related thought. I am in the process of weaning Lochlyn, and besides the whole sleep thing, it has been going really well. She is down to breastfeeding once in the morning, and once in the evening before bed. I thought I would be really sad to give it up, but it hasn’t been too hard. Not having to breastfeed so often is freeing up so much time for me, and I am really enjoying it. I plan to finish breastfeeding around her birthday, which is March 5th. It’s coming up fast!


5. I don’t have a lot of thoughts for today, but I want to get this published before Lochlyn wakes up. Also, I am hungry, but eating while typing up this post would be considered distracted eating, so I need to get this done so I can eat something!


Happy Thursday!


Are you giving up anything for lent this year?

Runners – how do you deal with running-related injuries?

When to Stop Exercising…

Good morning, good morning! I really wanted to pop in yesterday and tell you guys about how my weekend went. That didn’t happen because we had a pretty rough night on Sunday night. Lochlyn did not want to sleep! She woke up around 1:00 AM and I didn’t get her back down until 5:00. It was so unlike her. I traded in my blog writing time for some extra sleep. It was much needed.

My weekend update is going to have to wait yet another day, because today is…

intuitive tuesday

And that means we are going to chat about living intuitively.

It was actually really hard for me to decide what to write about this morning. After weighing quite a few ideas I have been pondering, none of them really felt right. Then I started thinking about areas of intuitive eating/living that I really struggle with, and the subject of exercise immediately came to mind.

Exercise, how I love you. I love the gym. I love working out, getting a sweat on, and taking in all the endorphins that come with it. I don’t have a hard time motivating myself to go to the gym. Even when I am tired, or feeling lazy, it is pretty easy for me to get there, as I know how it will make me feel. It is also a great way for this stay-at-home mom to get out of the house and enjoy a little bit of “me” time.

gym selfie


Ignore the tampon at my feet! Lochlyn likes to carry them all over the house.

With the half-marathon that I have been training for, it has been even easier to get my butt to the gym. I have a goal, and a plan to help get me there. I have every workout for the next few months planned out on paper, waiting for me to check it off the list. Every run, cross training session, and strength workout is bringing me closer to my goal, and hopefully making me a tiny bit stronger to run on the big day.

I am sure that all of this sounds great to the average person. I am super motivated, and feel positive about the gym. I know lots of people wish they could enjoy it this much, or feel the draw that I do to workout. So how is exercise a challenge for me? The thing is, sometimes working out can get out of hand for me, and lead to unhealthy behaviour.

Exercise is great. Letting exercise interfere too much with the rest of your life, and negatively impacting your health is not so great. I have been there many times and still struggle. I can get obsessive about hitting the gym, and I have often seen this negatively impact the rest of my life. Below I have listed some ways that I use to keep myself accountable with exercise. If I find that any of these points are true in my life, I know that I am giving exercise too much control over me.

Pushing your body further than it wants to go. Okay, so pushing ourselves is how we see improvement in performance. I get this, and I constantly push myself in order to see results. I lift heavier weights, or run an extra mile on a regular basis. Getting our heart rate elevated, and challenging our muscles is great. I think this can get unhealthy when we are exercising even though our body is screaming for a break.

If your body is injured, sick, or just plain exhausted, it may be time to give it a rest. A couple weeks ago, I was mentally feeling great, but my legs were so tired I could barely get up off the couch. I wanted to go to the gym, but realized that I owed my body a rest day. It had been working hard all week and needed time to recover. I know you have heard it before, but rest days are just as important, if not more so, than workout days. Giving your body a chance to recover and repair itself will improve your performance in the long term.

What happens when you push your body further than it wants to go on a regular basis? I developed Hypothalamic Amenorrhea and to put it bluntly, it majorly sucked. I know that I also wasn’t eating enough to fuel my workouts, but even after gaining a ton of weight back, I didn’t get my cycles again until I quit exercising entirely and gave my body a rest. It needed it to function at its best.

don't stop when you're tiredSource – So, I kind of disagree with this massively popular quote. If your body is truly tired, maybe you should give it a rest!

Letting exercise interfere with relationships. Back in my excessive exercising days, I would work out right when I got home from work. This meant that I never made plans to do anything after work. If people were going out, or invited me somewhere, I had to decline, or try to do it later. I distanced myself from people because I didn’t want relationships to interfere with my workouts.

This is so hard for me to admit, but I still regularly let exercise interfere with relationships. I go to the gym six days a week, and sometimes I choose the gym over spending time with friends. With juggling Lochlyn’s naps, and meals, it is hard to do a lot of outings in the day, and by the time we get ready and get to the gym, come home and shower, I don’t have time for much else.

I am learning that relationships with people are very important, and that it’s okay to sacrifice exercise for people. I am also learning to juggle around my training schedule a bit, so I can meet that friend for coffee, or go to a play group. I realize that it is important to make my relationship with Josh and Lochlyn a priority, and I try to focus on spending time with them when I get the chance. Sometimes choosing to spend time as a family over hitting the gym, is much more healthy for the soul, and therefore, for the body too.

josh and lochlyn at starbucks

I was a lot better at choosing to not workout somedays to focus on relationships before I started half marathon training. Now that I workout six days a week it is harder to juggle my schedule, and I don’t like missing too many workouts. My best solution has been to be willing to squeeze a workout in anywhere. I have done a lot of runs at 5:30 in the morning, and I am willing to go in the evening too if I have to.

Relationships are more important to me than physical fitness and exercise. When I am stressing or upset about missing a workout, it helps to put life into perspective and think about the bigger picture. My family and friends are more important to me than exercise any day!

Needing exercise to make you happy. The gym is my happy place, it really is. So is going for a bike ride outside, a long run, a beautiful hike. I love being active, it does my soul so much good. There is nothing wrong with that. Actually I think it is so great, and I recommend it to any and everyone. The thing is, even though exercise can make us very happy, we shouldn’t rely on it to make us happy. It isn’t a reliable source. I am thankful that I have the ability to be active, but that ability could be taken away at any given moment. If I need exercise to be happy, and I am no longer able to exercise, I won’t have the ability to be happy anymore.

I believe we can have an unhealthy emotional  relationship with exercise just like we can with food. So many of us use food to make us happy, or feel better when we are down. Exercise can do the same thing. There is nothing wrong with food or exercise making us happy, I think that it is when we become reliant on it, that it becomes a problem. It is important to know how to handle emotions apart from food and exercise.

Finding identity in working out. This used to be huge for me. I saw my own identity in being active and physically fit. I was thin, I ate healthy, and I worked out a lot. That was me, or so I thought. The truth was, I had an identity apart from working out, but I was so focused on exercising that I didn’t take the time to nourish other aspects of who I was. Those pieces of myself were being starved off, and I wasn’t as happy or well-rounded person without them. There is more to everyone’s life than exercise!

Another reason not to find identity in working out is that just like we can’t rely on exercise to make us happy, we can’t rely on it for identity. It isn’t a trustworthy source. If our ability to exercise is taken away from us, we will no longer have an identity.

Making yourself workout to burn extra calories. As in “I ate an extra bowl of ice cream yesterday and NEED to burn it off today”. This just ruins exercise in my opinion. Josh and I were actually talking about this not too long ago. We have both shifted our focus on exercise from looks and appearance, to performance and athletic ability. We have both found that it makes exercise so much more fun and motivating! I run an extra mile to prepare for my race, not to burn extra calories. When you are making yourself exercise, it no longer becomes a choice, but something that you force on yourself. Nobody enjoys that for too long!

Well, Lochlyn is awake in her crib and calling to me. That was a short nap, why won’t this girl sleep? I guess it is time to feed her some lunch, and get my butt to the gym for a workout (yay!). Enjoy your day, and make sure to enjoy your exercise (or give yourself a break, that’s good too!)


Have you ever felt like exercise was controlling your life? What did you do about it?

Any other tell tale signs you are working out too much? I know I missed lots!


Strength Training Lately: Stronglifts 5×5

I have been following Stronglifts 5×5 strength training program for just over a month alongside my half marathon training. I thought that now would be a good time to tell you about how it has been going so far. As I mentioned on Saturday, I already wrote this post once, and it got erased when WordPress crashed on my computer. You better believe I am writing it in my word processor this time!

This is not an endorsed post. I have been following this program, and thought some of you may be interested in it. Please take into account that I am not a personal trainer, fitness professional, or doctor. This is just my opinion of the program based on personal experience. 

Before we get started, here is a basic description of Stronglifts 5×5 from their website:

Stronglifts 5×5 is a simple workout to get stronger. Thousands of guys worldwide have used this routine to gain strength, build muscle or lose fat while training only three times a week. Stronglifts 5×5 uses five free weight compound exercises: the Squat, Bench Press, Deadlift, Overhead Press and Barbell Row. You do three of these exercises each workout, three times a week, for about 45 minutes per workout. You Squat every workout, three times a week. 5×5 stands for five sets of five reps. These are the sets and reps you do on every exercise except Deadlifts. Deadlift is only one set of five reps (1×5) because doing more would beat you up. Plus, Squatting three times a week will get you stronger at Deadlifts since it works similar muscles. Unlike most bodybuilding routines, your goal on StrongLifts 5×5 isn’t to reach failure, get “pumped” or be sore. Your goal is to add weight. Here’s how: start light, focus on proper form and add 2.5kg/5lb each workout for as long as you can. This is the simplest way to get stronger – fast. Source

stronglifts squat


Please keep in mind that I am doing this program alongside half marathon training. I think you would see different results if you were just focusing on building strength.


  • The FREE app that comes with it. Guys this app is awesome! I think it is one of my favourite things about following this program. I love it because it is so easy to use to keep track of your workouts. It tells you how much weight to use for each exercise based on your last workout, and how long of rest you should take between sets as well. I was getting a bit lazy about recording my workouts, but with this app, I haven’t missed a day since starting this program.

stronglifts app



  • This workout focuses on big compound exercises that work multiple muscle groups at the same time. As I only have time for three strength workouts a week, I wanted to get the most bang for my buck. I do miss all the accessory exercises sometimes, but I also love the feeling of working multiple muscle groups at once.
  • Motivation to continuously up your weight. I think that I was starting to get into a strength training rut the past couple months. I was continuously reaching for the same weight, even if I knew I would be able to complete all my sets relatively easily. Stronglifts has challenged me to work on upping my weights when I am able to complete all five reps of each set. Hopefully this makes me stronger or at least maintains the muscle I have built!


  • The repetitiveness. You are only completing five different exercises each week, with only two different workouts. I am not bored yet, which is great for me because usually I get bored of doing the same program after about four weeks. That being said, I am looking forward to being done with the program and continuing on to more varied exercises.
  • Starting light. Stronglifts recommends that your starting weight is 50% of your five rep maximum (the most weight you can lift for five full repetitions of an exercise). I   didn’t calculate my five rep max and just started with the suggested starting weights (for men). I think that you will see the most progress starting at 50% of your five rep max, but the first couple of weeks the weights will seem really light, and your workouts may be kind of boring.
  •  I chose this program because I thought that five sets of five reps for three exercises would just fly by. I was wrong. I didn’t take into account the time I would spend warming up, and the amount of rest that would be needed between sets. Stronglifts recommends resting 90 seconds to three minutes between each set, depending on how difficult it is. As my weights are getting higher, each set is feeling harder, and ideally I would be resting two-three minutes. This isn’t always happening. I don’t have the time to rest this much, but I know that my body would be feeling better, and probably able to handle a little bit more weight if I did. As it stands right now, each workout takes me around 35-40 minutes. Not too bad, but I was hoping they would be quicker.

post gym selfie

Post work-out selfie since I don’t quite have the confidence to take gym selfies!


  • As I mentioned above, Stronglifts 5×5 recommends your starting weights be 50% of your five rep max. They also have suggested weights for each exercise if you don’t know your five rep max. These weights are suggested for men, but I figured  I could handle them, so I decided to start there rather than calculating my five rep max. I found the upper body-focused exercises to be too close to my max already and the starting weight for squats and dead lifts was too light. I wish I would have taken the time to calculate my starting weights at the beginning of the program. It may have been more effective if I had a few lighter lifting weeks to get my body warmed up. I also would have really liked to have something to compare my results to. Below are the weights that I started with for each exercise. In brackets I added an estimate of what I think my starting weight should have been.
    • Squats: 45 lbs (55 lbs)
    • Bench press: 45 lbs (35 lbs)
    • Rows: 65 lbs (30 lbs)
    • Shoulder press: 45 lbs (25 lbs)
    • Deadlifts: 65 lbs (75 lbs)
  • Stronglifts is a beginner strength building program. That being said, I wouldn’t recommend it to someone new to the gym unless they had the assistance of a personal trainer to help them with good form. It is so important to practice good form when lifting, especially with heavy compound exercises. If you are doing it wrong, it is just asking to get hurt! If you have some experience with these exercises and are comfortable with your form, I would still recommend finding someone to spot you. I wish that I had a regular spotter. I would be a lot more confident pushing myself if I knew I had someone there just in case. With all the 5:30 AM workouts I have been doing lately, there isn’t too many people around to ask for help!

bench with no spotter


I have been following some type of weight lifting program for the past  nine months or so, and I think that I am just starting to transition out of the beginner category.I have done a lot of strength training in the past, but I had to take some time off, and this year I have been getting back into it. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it is my understanding that with strength training, a beginner isn’t necessarily someone new to weightlifting, but someone whose body is still responding fast to exercises and gaining muscle quickly. Beginners are able to up their weight on an exercise frequently, and see gains right away.

I am curious to see how my body responds to this program and how fast I am able to up my weights! So far I think I may have added about five pounds onto each of the exercises over the past five weeks. I am happy with that since my focus right now is on marathon training and not building strength.

Overall I would recommend the Stronglifts program to beginners who are focusing on increasing their strength. I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it to accompany half marathon training. I am enjoying it, but squatting three days a week, and running three days a week, makes for some tired legs! I am not sure if I will be able to keep up this program for the recommended 12 weeks. I am taking it one week at a time to see how it goes. Speaking of tired legs, I should probably go stretch mine!


Gym selfies – yay or nay? I would totally do it for the blog if I could get over being afraid what other people think. That being said I have caught myself judging other people taking photos in the gym.

Have you ever tried Stronglifts 5×5 or a similar strength building program? What did you think?

Runners – how  much strength training do you do while training for a race?


New Shoes and Sick Baby Blues

Happy Thursday everyone! I have lots of random things to share with you today, so I am linking up with Amanda at Running with Spoons for some Thinking out Loud action.

thinking out loud

1. I bought new running shoes on Tuesday. It is about time. I have been running in minimalist-style shoes designed for weight-lifting and my knee has been getting really sore. My old running shoes are WAY too small now that I have had a baby. My feet have grown about 1 shoe size, and I think the shoes were a little on the small side to begin with because they are 2 sizes smaller than the shoes that I bought.

I had a pretty hard time finding the right shoes, Lochlyn and I drove into Red Deer together on Tuesday after lunch. I had plans to buy shoes from Sport Chek since I had a $150 gift card to use up, but I was not impressed with their service. It was hard enough finding a salesperson to help me, but the one that eventually did ended up not know a thing about running shoes. To make matters worse, he pretended he knew what he was talking about, and recommended some completely wrong shoes for me. After trying on a couple shoes, and googling his recommendations for more information, I decided Sport Check may not have been the best idea.

I ended up using my gift card to buy a foam roller, and headed to The Running Room in hopes of more knowledgeable staff. I was nervous because it was past Lochlyn’s nap time, and I didn’t know how she would hold up going to another store, but she did great. There were no other customers in the store, and I got great service. One of the employees even held Lochlyn and played with her the whole time while I tried on shoes. (She used to be a childcare worker so she knew what she was doing). Anyway, I ended up getting Saucony Triumph Iso shoes, and so far I really like them. I ran in them for the first time this morning, and at the moment I have no knee pain!

saucony triumph iso

2. Lochlyn has been feeling under the weather again. She has had a fever and a runny nose on and off for the past week.This is the first time she has had a fever and I felt a little bit nervous about it. I ended up calling a nurse to ask for some advice, and told me not to do anything at all unless Lochlyn gets other symptoms. This made me feel better until she said that it didn’t matter how high Lochlyn’s fever got, it wasn’t a big deal unless other symptoms showed up. I think that if Lochlyn’s fever got high enough I would take her to the hospital. Maybe I am paranoid, but I want my baby to be safe.

standing in crib

At first I actually thought Lochlyn might be teething, but yesterday my nose started getting really runny too. I feel fine except for a little stuffed up, but it is still frustrating. This year seems to be the most sick I have ever been. I think I keep picking up sicknesses from Lochlyn, so I guess I need to get used to it.

3. This week I am planning to add a longer run in for half marathon training. I have been running three miles three times a week. My longer run is only going up to four miles, but that is long for me, and I don’t want to be sick for that. The past two weeks have felt really good with running. I have incorporated some hill training and progressive runs in and I have finally been feeling like I could run farther than three miles without dying. Today’s three miles was a little bit harder, and I am thinking that it could have been because I have caught Lochlyn’s cold. So frustrating! I actually don’t feel sick at all except for having a stuffed up head, and I don’t want to miss out more of training. Any advice from runners out there? How do you adjust your training when you aren’t feeling great? How sick do you have to be to decide to miss a run?

4. My cleaning schedule has been going awesome this week. I am hoping that I can keep up with it and have a tidier house. I have had more time to clean this week since we haven’t been going to the gym during the day as Lochlyn is sick. I have also found that using the crockpot more really helps. I can make dinner while Lochlyn is napping, so that in the early evening I can clean up a bit before Josh gets home.

5. As you probably know, I started work last weekend, and it actually went pretty good. The shop was slow, which made my day drag on, but besides that I didn’t mind it at all. I thought I would be sad leaving Lochlyn, but I am happy leaving her with Josh and I know they will have a good time together. My main worry is that I am going to be scheduled to work every single weekend. I had asked to work two weekends a month, but my boss has said that with the way that she schedules, that could get too complicated. I am hoping that we can figure something out, because working every weekend is not going to fly. I need some time with my family!


josh and lochlyn on old futon

6. Lochlyn slept for 2 hours and 40 minutes yesterday. That is the longest nap she has ever had … ever! I think it must have been because she is sick, and I am sure she needed the rest. I actually started to get worried about her because she never sleeps that long. I was thankful that I had a video monitor so I could check on her and make sure she was okay!

7. Have you guys ever heard of Gina’s Shape up programs? She offers a free program twice a year (winter and summer) that includes a work out program, and lots of inspiration. I followed the Summer Shape-Up plan this year and I really enjoyed it. It isn’t my preferred style of workouts (too much jumping around and not enough heavy lifting) but it was good to shake up my normal routine. The Winter Shape-Up is starting January 26th. If you are looking for a new exercise program, or getting bored with your current one I suggest you check it out! The Shape-Up program lasts four weeks, and each week is different and has different work-outs.

I am mentioning this because one of my favourite parts about participating in the Summer Shape-Up program, was the meal plan. Anne from Fannetastic Food puts together a FREE meal plan to go along with the Shape-Up programs. I followed the meal plan in the summer, and it really changed the way that I eat. It challenged so many of my “food rules” in a good way. Anne is a registered dietician, and her meal plans offer lots of healthy ideas.  It was a great way to get my out of my eating comfort zone and get me to try new things. It also really helped me learn to eat intuitively, by breaking through some of those food and diet rules that I had in place without even realizing it. Anne’s meal plans offer easy and healthy snack ideas, and quick and delicious meal recipes. These meals plans aren’t a diet. They don’t tell you how much to eat, or when to eat. Portion sizes are sometimes recommended, but you can each as much as you need to, whenever you need to – that’s my kind of plan!

edamame salad

I have been in a bit of a breakfast and lunch rut lately. Lochlyn and I tend to eat the same things everyday. For breakfast I have banana egg white oatmeal and lunch tends to be whatever I can find in the fridge, and is never really what I feel like eating. I am thinking about following the meal plan for the Winter Shape-Up program just to get some variety back in my meals. I won’t be following the work-out plan, but I will be saving it in case I want to try it later! I am hoping to do my grocery shopping tomorrow, and I really hope the meal plan comes out in time for me to pick up what I need!

banana oatmeal

8. I am going to leave you all with a picture of Lochlyn because I think she is adorable, and I have a question for you …

favorite game


Lochlyn is playing her new favourite game. Can you guess what it is?

Have you ever tried the Shape-up programs and/or the meal plan that goes with it? What did you think?






Thinking Out Loud: Work, and Workout Motivation

I woke up bright and early this morning… actually it was still dark out, so dark and early …  to get a run in at the gym before Josh left for work. I am not quite sure how I feel about running at 5:30 AM, but it was nice to get it out of the way. Now I have the rest of the day to spend with my little one.

For today’s quick little post, I am going to link up with Amanda over at Running With Spoons for Thinking out Loud. It is Thursday after all. Thanks for hosting Amanda!

thinking out loud


1. Today I have a meeting scheduled at my old job to discuss my new availability now that my maternity leave is over. I am feeling a little down about it. It will be nice to get out of the house and see some old faces, but I am going to miss the time away from my family. It also means that Lochlyn is growing up – and that is hard! Awesome, but so hard. I know I should be grateful that I have such a flexible job to go back to, but it is hard not to be a little down about it. I don’t feel ready to go back to work. I know that I have already talked about this a lot, so I’m not really going to go there except to say that I am sad, and this is hard, and I just want to stay home and spend time with my baby forever and ever.

ride on toy lochlyn

2. You know what else is hard? Keeping your marriage strong with a new little baby. In some ways I feel so much closer to my husband now. I rely on him so much more, and I need his help in so many more ways. Despite this, I find it really difficult keeping the romance alive in our relationship with a baby around always needing us. Lochlyn has quickly become our world, and it is so easy to put her needs first. I keep having to remind myself that our relationship needs to stay strong for her just as much as it needs to stay strong for us. I want to set a good example for her, and I want her to grow up in a loving environment. I also don’t want Josh and I to turn into friends. We are best friends, but I want us to be more than just friends too, ya know?

wedding speech

I have decided to really commit more to keeping our relationship strong, and strengthening it even further. As I have mentioned we have a weekend booked away for the end of March. We had to hold off a little on this so we could be sure that Lochlyn would be done breastfeeding. We also have a marriage course scheduled for the beginning of February. On top of these two things, I also want to start making more time for Josh, and for our relationship. We don’t go on dates all too often. Josh loves getting out of the house and doing things, and I want to make more time for us to do this together. I love staying in and relaxing, so he has offered to set aside time to stay up together and hang out after Lochlyn goes to sleep. We have been blessed with some amazing friends that have offered to babysit for us, and love Lochlyn, so we need to take them up on it!

3. Speaking of Josh, and dates, we went on a coffee date the other day. Well, sort of a coffee date. For some reason, I really wasn’t feeling coffee, so I ordered lunch instead. Josh ordered this massive cinnamon bun that I just had to show you guys. Seriously, it was like the size of 4.25 regular cinnamon buns. Pretty much the size of his head. These pictures don’t even do it justice. This thing was huge. Even Josh couldn’t finish it, and he isn’t one to not finish something as sweet and delicious as a cinnamon bun!

giant cinnamon bun

4. I still haven’t registered for my half marathon or 10K. Registration has been open for almost a month now, I am not quite sure what is holding me back. I am wondering if maybe I am a little nervous to actually do it. I did go buy a new sports bra and fuel belt last weekend so I am getting more committed, but I haven’t taken the final step and registered. 5K feels long enough most days!

Admittedly, I may not be registered yet because I am a bit of a procrastinator. I have been avoiding a few other things too, like cancelling an appointment, doing our online banking, and scheduling a time to take Eeyore to the vet. I am so bad at getting things like that done.

5. Speaking of running, one really awesome thing that I have noticed about training for a half marathon, is that my fitness goals have been focused a lot more on performance. Since having a baby, I have tried to exercise to keep my body healthy and happy, but there was always the buried motivation to lift weights to look better. I think muscle tone looks great, and I had a hidden desire to build more muscle to improve my appearance. After writing yesterday’s post, I realized that my motivation had changed and the main reason why I didn’t want to miss the gym, was because I didn’t want it to affect my overall performance.

First of all, this was a little ridiculous. One day away from training, when your body is tired and run down, is actually probably a good thing. I’m not an expert, but I do believe that you should listen to your body, and if it’s not at it’s best, it probably needs a break. Yesterday my reasoning was a little bit off, but my motives weren’t all bad. I wasn’t concerned about burning calories, or my appearance. I just didn’t want to miss another run and get behind in training. For me this was a pretty cool realization.

6. And that’s a wrap on this week’s thoughts. Lochlyn is going to be awake before I know it. Thanks for stopping by and reading my rambles. Have a great Thursday!

lochlyn drinking smoothie



What is your #1 workout motivation? I dare you to be honest!

Give me a random thought you are having this Thursday.