Category: Personal Goals

My Must List

In my last post I shared about my decision to start the 21 Day Journey to Minimalism, courtesy of The Minimalists blog.

Josh and I’s journey will not be 21 days. We have decided to take more time on certain steps, and we needed to rearrange it a bit to fit our schedule.

treehouse slide

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Last week we decided to work on “Day 1” of the journey. This involved creating personal “Must Lists”.

If this is something you are interested in, I would highly recommend you check out The Minimalists to get more information. In short, to me, a must list is a list of things that you consider non-negotiable for you life. Things that aren’t an option for you to go without.

Personal “musts” are the things that no matter what happens, or what direction you life decides to take, you adhere to them. They should also be the things that guide your decisions and actions day-to-day, as they are the most important things in your life.

I have already noticed that having a “must list” has reminded me of what is truly a priority, and changed with I choose to spend time and energy on.

pose scarf

Josh also created a Must List. We have hung both our lists up on a mirror in our bedroom, so we are able to read them whenever we choose.

I expect my list to evolve over time, as my priorities and life changes, and it is something that I plan to review regularly. At present, here is what my list looks like …

My Must List

  1. I must consistently seek to depend my relationship with God
  2. I must make time to take care of myself daily – spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally
  3. I must constantly seek to improve my relationship with my husband
  4. I must spend time with Lochlyn and make her feel loved every day that I am with her
  5. I must seek new friendships and nurture current ones
  6. I must create and maintain a pleasant household for my family
  7. I must nurture my creativity
  8. I must be aware of time-wasting, or unproductive activities and limit them
  9. I must nurture and encourage Lochlyn’s relationship with Jesus
  10. I must get outside and enjoy nature
  11. I must make travelling and vacations a priority
  12. I must steward my finances wisely
  13. I must encourage Josh in his relationship with Jesus
  14. I must develop and maintain a healthy body image, and a healthy relationship with food

This week we are working on Day Two of the 21 Day Journey. I am actually finding this step even harder than Day One. I will be sharing my thoughts!

Spring 2015 Goals

This weekend was fantastic. One of the best weekends I have had in a long time. I think that was due to the fact that I had Sunday off from work, with no major plans. I did work one shift on Saturday, but I enjoy my job, and knowing that I had Sunday off made leaving my family a lot more bearable.

Sunday started with a long run on the treadmill because it is crazy snowy outside. Afterwards, Lochlyn and I got ready and met Josh at church. We haven’t been to church as a family in forever. It was actually Lochlyn’s first time going to the nursery! After church Josh and I hung out while Lochlyn napped. Dinner was homemade turkey soup, and then we went to a friend’s house for a quick visit before bed. Such a good day.

lochlyn reading in crib

The reason for that super quick recap is because today I want to talk about my goals for spring. It looks like Christmas outside, but I know that spring is just around the corner. Before I get into my new goals, let’s take a look at some old ones…

 

How I did on my Winter Goals

1. Unplug from technology.

I am not where I want to be, but I feel like I have been more conscious about distracting myself technology, especially my phone. Giving up distracted eating did help with this one (although I have to admit I haven’t been super diligent about this lately).

I would really like to spend less time on Netflix. Last week I was so tired and all I wanted to do while Lochlyn was napping was curl up on the couch and watch Friends episodes. I have been spending less time on technology while she is around though, so that is something. I am happy with how I have improved in this area, and I going to set this goal aside for this season, since it has been something I have bee working on for quite awhile. ACCOMPLISHED. (mostly).

 

2. Pay more attention to my body’s hunger and fullness cues

This is another goal that isn’t entirely black and white. I have been keeping a food journal more often, and despite the fact that sometimes I find it annoying, I think it has helped remind me to pay more attention to my body. I actually found myself skipping dinner a couple times last week because I wasn’t hungry at all. This was probably because my chocolate-covered almond obsession got a little out of hand, but I was happy that I didn’t just eat dinner out of habit. I also learned not to eat a million chocolate almonds an hour before dinner time if I want to eat with my family!

dark chocolate almonds

I feel like I saw enough improvement in this area to say goal ACCOMPLISHED!

 

3. Keep my house tidier

HA. HAHA. HA. Yah you aren’t invited over to my house until I get a chance to clean because it is a crazy gross dirty disaster. For real though, if I am basing this goal on what my house looks like at this moment, major fail. Espeically my kitchen.

My house is always dirtier after the weekend. Part of that is because I have been working all weekend and most meals are a mad rush of preparing without the time to clean. Another reason is that Josh is watching Lochlyn and has yet to master the art of cleaning and babysitting at the same time.

I wish I kept my house cleaner. I feel like I had quite a few really good weeks on the cleaning front during the winter, and also quite a few bad weeks. I am going to give myself grace here and say I didn’t do too bad, I think I even improved in this area. If my house was clean at this moment I may even say goal accomplished. Who am I kidding? FAILED.

 

4. Reconnect with Josh

Married life has been … GREAT! Yay! Josh and I have been speeding quality time together when we can, and it has really helped us out. We went to a marriage course at the beginning of February, and it made such a huge difference for us. We still have the odd bad day, but I feel so much closer to my husband lately, and we have had some really good talks. Life is so much better when your relationship is happy :) Josh and I are going away this weekend, and leaving Lochlyn for the first time ever! I can’t wait. ACCOMPLISHED. I rocked this goal. We both did.

 

spring goals

 

1. Get some structure back into my days.

I am back to loving sleep like crazy lately. I just want to sleep in and go to bed early. When Lochlyn naps I want to lie around and do nothing. I don’t know if it is all the running I have been doing, but relaxing 24-7 just sounds like the best thing ever. No, I am not pregnant!

I want to work on giving my days some structure. I want to make time to relax, and also make time for other things that need to get done. I have given myself schedules in the past while I have full days at home, and it helps me organize my time a lot better. I want to try working on this again.

One of the main things that I want to work at scheduling into my day is spending time with God and reading my bible. I know that doing this makes me a happier, healthier person, yet somehow I always seem to overlook it and spend time doing other things. I am not sure where I will fit it in yet, but I need to do this.

Another reason why I want to work on scheduling my days is to get some cleaning done. It is harder to find time in the summer to clean, so it would be amazing if I could keep the house cleaner for spring. Maybe I can even get some deep cleaning done … maybe.

 

2. Running a Half Marathon

I don’t know if this should even count as a goal. Once I make up my mind about something, it will happen. I am stubborn like that. I know that this will get done unless some crazy circumstance stops me from doing it. Still this has taken up a lot of my time and energy and I want to include it. I am excited. I have been LOVING running lately, and have been seeing huge improvements. A couple months ago those 13 miles sounded impossible. Yesterday I ran 8 miles and it didn’t even feel that hard. 13 miles doesn’t seem so crazy anymore!

 

3. De-cluttering my house

Along with keeping the house cleaner, I would like to get some de-cluttering done. We have so much stuff, and I know that a lot of it we really don’t need. I think it would easier to keep things clean and tidy if we just got rid of it. Also, our house is so far from organized. This is weird because I LOVE organizing. I am going to blame Josh a bit for this one because he is so not good at putting things back where they are supposed to go. Sorry if you are reading Josh, but it is true :).

 

4. Getting better at budgeting and trusting God with our finances.

In the past I have been huge into budgeting. I have about 10 bank accounts, one for groceries and gas, one for date night money, I even have one for my cat! Lately I haven’t been paying as much attention to our finances. I also haven’t been making as much money, and our Visa balance has started creeping up. Typically I like to keep it completely paid off.

I recently cut my hours back at work, so I am going to be making even less money. I want to keep on top of that Visa, but I also want to stop keeping our finances so structured. Josh and I have been through some pretty tight times financially in the past, and yet we have always come out with more than enough. I believe that God will provide for our little family, and I want to work on trusting him with our finances rather than trying to control them myself. That being said, I do believe we have been given responsibility to steward our money and I want to use it as wisely as possible. I have been working on spending less money on groceries because I feel like that is one of our main expenses. Not that there is anything wrong with spending money on food, but I think we could cut back a bit in this area and not notice it much.

 

Some other things that I want to do this spring are…

  • Open up an RESP for Lochlyn (I think this has been on the list since the fall)
  • Enroll Lochlyn in swimming lessons
  • Go to church on Sundays (so miss this!)
  • Book our summer vacations
  • Take Eeyore to the vet
  • Book Lochlyn in at the dentist
  • Get away with Josh for the weekend
  • Reconnect with friends/make new ones
  • Love my body and enjoy it
  • Finish our taxes
  • Take Lochlyn to Menchies (okay, I want Menchies)
  • Get a mountain bike and a bike trailer and go on family bike rides
  • Make plans for landscaping out back yard
  • Take more photos

 

Do you do any spring cleaning? I am more of a fall/winter cleaning person and last fall/winter, I didn’t do any!

What is one of your goals for spring?

Running and Baby Woes

I don’t have a lot of time this morning, but I wanted to stop by and fill you in what I have been thinking about lately. Check out Amanda’s link up for some more Thinking out Loud action.

thinking out loud

1. I have been having issues with my knee the past week or so. I know that it is running related because every time that I run, it starts to hurt again. I have learned from a little online research that I should stay off my knee completely until it heals. Admittedly, I haven’t been doing this, but I have been taking it easy, and really paying attention to how knee is feeling. I have been icing it three times a day and stretching it regularly and it is about 100 times better than it was last week. I am hoping that it will be at 100% soon enough.

One of the hardest things I am finding about training for a half marathon is the dedication required. I work out very regularly, but I still find it hard to go for a run when life gets in the way. It is hard to find the time when I am visiting with family, travelling, or my knee is extra sore. Sometimes running has to go on the back burner, and sometimes life does. It is all a balancing act, and I am still figuring it out.

I am LOVING running more and more all the time though. I have already started thinking about when I will be able to do another race (and I haven’t even done this one yet!). Time will tell I guess, but it is so fun having a goal and training to do the best that you can with it.

 

2. Yesterday was the first day of lent, and Amanda mentioned giving something up in her post today. It got me thinking that I want to as well. I don’t usually observe lent. I am a Christian, but I am not Catholic, and I think giving something up for lent is more of a Catholic tradition. Still, I like the idea of it, and the spiritual significance that it holds.

I have decided to give up distracted eating. Okay, so I have talked a lot about trying to eat less distractedly, and I think overall I have improved in this area. It is something that I would still like to do better with, both for my sake and for Lochlyn’s. For lent I would like to quit eating in front of the computer, while reading, and most especially while browsing my phone. I want to be more intentional with what I eat, and how I eat it.

Lately I have found myself standing at my cupboard/fridge, and grabbing a snack while I chase after my baby, or while I am cooking dinner. I plan on slowing down, sitting down, and purposefully eating, rather than eating on the go.

Lochlyn takes forever to eat, and I often lose patience, and find myself reaching for my cell phone for entertainment, while I am feeding her spoonfuls. I don’t want to pass on this bad habit to her, and I don’t want her to have to compete with my phone for attention.

smoothie wave

I know I am a day late, but I am going to do this for lent (minus a day). I don’t plan on never eating distractedly again, but cutting it out for this season, hopefully with make me more aware of it in the long term.

 

3. I just wanted to whine a little bit about Lochlyn’s sleeping habits as of late. I don’t know what is up with that girl! Before she got sick a few weeks ago, she was falling asleep by herself at night, and sleeping for at least 12 hours, sometimes more. I often would have to wake her up in the morning, because she wouldn’t stop sleeping. Her naps were often 2 hours long each. She was sleeping like crazy. Even before she was sleeping this much, she would always go down at night all by herself, without crying or fussing.

Lately she does not want to fall asleep by herself, and she often isn’t sleeping well through the night. She isn’t sick anymore, so I am not sure what is going on. When I put her down in her crib at night and leave the room, she freaks out. Like not just sad crying, but very angry crying. She sits up in her crib, and bounces up and down, and screams. I think she may be learning how to have a temper tantrum. When I go back in the room to calm her down she is covered in sweat, and so upset. Poor thing, I wish I knew what was going on with her.

In the past we let Lochlyn cry a bit at night to teach her to sleep by herself. This time around it has been really hard for me to let her cry when she is clearly so upset, and this so isn’t like her. Hopefully this is just a phase and we can get over it soon.

 

4. One more baby related thought. I am in the process of weaning Lochlyn, and besides the whole sleep thing, it has been going really well. She is down to breastfeeding once in the morning, and once in the evening before bed. I thought I would be really sad to give it up, but it hasn’t been too hard. Not having to breastfeed so often is freeing up so much time for me, and I am really enjoying it. I plan to finish breastfeeding around her birthday, which is March 5th. It’s coming up fast!

 

5. I don’t have a lot of thoughts for today, but I want to get this published before Lochlyn wakes up. Also, I am hungry, but eating while typing up this post would be considered distracted eating, so I need to get this done so I can eat something!

 

Happy Thursday!

 

Are you giving up anything for lent this year?

Runners – how do you deal with running-related injuries?

Two Week Cleaning Schedule

I can’t believe that it is already Friday – this week has just flown by for me. Perhaps it has gone by so fast since this is my last week before I start working again. This weekend is going to be a busy one as I am starting back at work. I am really working at being positive about it all.

mom and baby selfie

I know I made quite a few confessions in yesterday’s post, but I have one more to make. I haven’t fully cleaned my house since before Christmas … like almost a week before Christmas. It is quickly becoming a pretty big disaster. I seriously don’t usually go a full month between cleanings, but we had house guests after Christmas, then I got sick, and now I think Lochlyn is teething. She hasn’t been her usual happy self, and she hasn’t been sleeping very well. She has been needing some extra love and attention lately, which is fine by me!

tired lochlyn

With going back to work, I am going to have even less time to take care of my house, and spend time with my family. Right now, the plan is that I will be working weekends, which is when I usually am the most productive around the house. I have decided to put together a cleaning schedule to help get me on track with cleaning a little bit everyday. Hopefully my house won’t be quite as much of a disaster with this bad boy in place.

two week cleaning schedule

Along with this list, I also plan to spend time tidying up the house, and do a load of laundry everyday (we have a lot of laundry because I use cloth diapers on Lochlyn). I find that trying to get a little bit done throughout the week, rather than spending a whole day cleaning works better for me, especially now that I have a baby I have to take care of too.

I get more done with a plan in place, but I don’t want to be too obsessive about this plan. If something gets missed, I can always take some time on the weekend to catch up, or ask Josh for help. Worst case scenario, I will just try to get it done the following week!

I think this plan is going to start today. Meal planning and groceries! Guess I better get started on the meal planning :)

 

Do you follow a cleaning schedule or would my type A personality drive you crazy?

Do you like to spend one whole day cleaning, or do a little bit each day?

 

One Super Good Year

There has been a serious lack of posts around here lately. As you know we were visiting with my parents in Calgary over the Christmas holidays. My in-laws arrived last night, so now we have house guests. I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday as I spent the majority of the day lying on my bathroom floor. I was really sick. I haven’t been that sick in a long time. I don’t get sick too often, but when I do, I turn into the biggest baby in the world. I feel bad for Josh because I am such a suck and so needy. It was really hard yesterday because I was home by myself with Lochlyn. I think it took me half an hour to change her diaper because I kept having to run to the bathroom. I ended up changing her with a bucket handy just in case. Poor baby. I am feeling a lot better today. My stomach is still a little off, but sooo much better than yesterday!

lochlyn playing bow

I actually didn’t want to spend the last day of 2014 telling you guys tmi about how sick I was yesterday. It doesn’t really seem a fitting way to end the year. I thought about setting some goals for 2015, but to be honest, I’m just not really feeling the goal setting thing at the moment. I am still working on my winter goals, and right now that is enough for me.

I find it interesting that so many people set health goals for the beginning of the year. For some reason, a new year = a new start. It is the one day that we allow ourselves to start over, and press the reset button. I have been thinking about goals lately as being more about the journey, and less about perfection. I still have goals, but I don’t have to be perfect day in, and day out, in order to fulfill them. For me, in the past, a new year meant I was going to stick to my diet and exercise goals perfectly. I was going to spend exactly xx amount of time reading my Bible, and xx amount of time loving my husband. I would keep my house perfectly clean, cook xx amount of meals a week, etc. etc.

This year, I think my goals would lean more towards getting out and doing fun things with my family, running a half marathon, working on intuitive eating, and strengthening my relationship with God. I don’t feel a need to achieve my goals perfectly day in and day out. I want to be able to look back at 2015 and feel like I have grown throughout the year.

2014 has been such a good year for me. To highlight a few of its best moments…

  • The birth of my sweet baby girl Lochlyn of course

newborn lochlyn

  • Attending a local mom and baby group regularly
  • Gong for long walks with Lochlyn while she napped (such a good memory that I will always cherish)

unnamed-27

  • Starting to exercise at the gym again, and challenging myself to lift heavy
  • Learning about intuitive eating
  • Our family vacation to a cabin in British Columbia
  • Starting this blog
  • Visiting my in-laws in Manitoba for Thanksgiving and my father in-laws 60th birthday

grandma grandpa and baby

lochlyn opening piano

Some of my favorite blog posts

unnamed-6

unnamed-28

napping with mommy

 

This has seriously been one of the best years of my life. I have been blessed with so many memories that I will cherish forever. I am so thankful for what God has done and so excited for what he is going to do. Seriously, God is so good to me and my little family. I am one blessed little lady.

“We know that all things work together for the good of those who love God: those who are called according to His purpose”. Romans 8:28

God has made everything in my life work out for good and I couldn’t be more grateful.

 

What is one of your favorite memories from 2014?

 

Winter Goals

The official first day of winter this year is December 21st. This is crazy. In Sylvan Lake, it has been winter since Halloween. By now it is freezing cold, and my life is covered in snow. I was going to wait to post my winter goals until the official season change, but I decided against it. Winter is here, and it is time to review my old goals and set up some new ones.

If you read my fall goals, you would know that I have a hard time with goals. I am such a perfectionist, to me, the goal wasn’t accomplished unless I was perfect at it. I am starting to see that this is not very realistic, and maybe even impossible. Life isn’t about absolutes, there is a lot of grey areas. If I can improve on the grey areas, that is a success! I think most of my goals weren’t 100% achieved, but the grey area was improved. I will take it!

How I did on my Fall goals

1. Start reading my Bible daily

I improved in this area quite a bit. I started doing the devotional She Reads Truth before bed most nights and really enjoyed it (thank you Ashley for sharing about this on your blog!). I still don’t read my Bible every night. Often on weekends I stay up and hang out with Josh instead, and that is okay with me. I would say goal accomplished.

she reads truth flower

2. Set time aside weekly to spend together as a family

This is another area that I think I did well on. We have gone on lots of coffee dates, a few walks, and Josh and I have spent more time hanging out together. I would like to continue to grow in this area, and make family time a priority on Sundays. Still I would say that throughout the fall, we have spent time together every Sunday, even if it is just a trip to the grocery store together. Accomplished.

christmas market walk

3. Get back into running

This has been going great too. It was a little hard to start running in the beginning because my baby girl was sick for so long. She has been getting better and I have been easing my way back into running with three short runs a week. I am following Hal Higdon’s 5k novice training plan, and have upped my miles from 1.5 to 2.5. In a few more weeks I will be at 5K! I plan to start a revised version of the half marathon novice 1 plan in January. Excited! Accomplished.

4. Unplug from technology

I definitely saw an improvement in this area, but I am still not quite where I want to be. I am on my phone a lot less while I am spending time with Lochlyn, but overall I still spend a lot of time on my phone, or on the computer. I am sure that all of the online shopping last weekend didn’t help this out. Area improved.

5. Pay more attention to my body’s hunger and fullness cues

After my Intuitive Tuesday post about honoring your hunger, I feel like I am paying more attention to my body and eating while I am hungry. I haven’t been focusing as much on my fullness cues at the moment, but I have been trying. I do notice a big change in this area, but intuitive eating takes time you guys! At least for me it does. I have to constantly remind myself that it is a process, not a diet or set of rules, and that I am slowly learning to listen to my body. Also I think back to where my relationship with food used to be and realize I have come such a long way. This month, and particularly the last couple of weeks I would say that I have been better at listening to my body’s hunger cues, and eating when I need to. Improved.

Honorable mentions

I didn’t do very well at there. I guess that is why I chose them for honorable mentions and not my main goals.

– Get the majority of my Christmas shopping done. This wasn’t too bad. I am getting close to being done, hopefully by the end of the weekend I will only have a couple more things to pick up.

Figure out what I am going to do for an income in January when my maternity leave payments are done. Hey I did this too! I went to talk to my old employer and have been working out what hours I will be available. Looks like I am going back to my old job. This is good, but I would really love to find something that I can do from home.

-Get our old car towed from the back yard. Nope, still there! Oops!

-Set up an RESP account for Lochlyn. Still need to do this one too.

 

winter goals

Here are my new goals for this season! There are a few repeats of ares that I still want to work on!

1. Unplug from technology.

This area still needs work. I would like to set designated times to be on the internet, whether it is on my phone or computer, and not be on it all day. I have been watching Netflix a lot lately, and that means I am on the Internet even more. It can waste so much time and take me away from being in the present moment. It also takes time away from my house (which is messy) and my family.

I would like to keep the time spend on my phone to while I am nursing Lochlyn. I am pretty good about only blogging in the mornings, and I plan to keep that up. I would like to save the Netflix habit for while I am stretching after working out, and for the evenings after Lochlyn is asleep, and the weekends. I keep finding myself folding laundry in front of it, and then it gets so hard to tear myself away.

2. Pay more attention to my body’s hunger and fullness cues

This goal is back on my list too. I think that it will be a goal for quite awhile. Like I said, this is a process, and something that I am working to get better at. This season, I want to really work on not eating while I am distracted. This is hard for a mom to do! I think the main thing for me is to not eat and multi-task. I am great at eating while blogging, while watching movies, and while checking my phone. I find that I eat quite a bit more if I do it while I am doing other things. If I sit down to eat a meal without doing anything else, I tend to stop early because I notice when I start to get full.

Along these same lines I also want to set a good example for Lochlyn. I try to eat a couple of meals a day with her, and I want to make sure that I am not doing other things while we are eating together. Little ones pick up so much, and I don’t want her to develop my bad habits!

cute eater

3. Keep my house tidier

This place keeps getting so messy. On top of that, we just have way too much stuff! I need to organize my life, and get rid of what we don’t need. This will be more challenging when I start working in January, and i want to make the most of my time. During Lochlyn’s first nap of the day, I want to work on cleaning up and organizing the house. This way I don’t miss out on time with her, and I can still get some things done.

messy kitchen

 

At least my dishes are done (thank you Josh!)

4. Reconnect with Josh

Okay, so we haven’t really unconnected, we have connected great as a mom and dad. I want to reconnect as husband and wife. I feel like now that we have really settled in to having a little one, it is time to up the romance factor in our relationship. We are best friends, but I don’t want us to just be friends, if you know what I mean.

This will be a tough one for me. I get really busy and have a hard time making time for people. I want to take advantage of the evening time that we have after Lochlyn goes down for the night and spend time together. I also want to pay more attention to what Josh likes doing, and do it with him. I have a feeling this may involve me watching a lot of hockey, but I guess if I am willing to do this for the sake of our relationship, maybe he will be willing to compromise a bit too! I have a confession to make. Last weekend Josh sat at our computer watching hockey, and I sat in the family room and watched a movie. I know it’s not that big of a deal, but don’t want our relationship to be like this!

wedding reception carry

Honorable Mentions

-Set up an RESP account for Lochlyn. Yup, still need to do this…

-Take Eeyore to the vet. She needs some shots and is WAY overdue for her annual checkup. We have decided this will be her Christmas present this year. Poor cat.

-Baking and cooking. I want to experiment a little bit more in the kitchen. I also want to get some Christmas baking done early, and I am starting to run out of time for that!

-Sign up for a half marathon. I am planning to run a 10K on April 11th in Calgary, and a half marathon on May 17th in Red Deer. Registration for the half starts December 15th. I am nervous to sign up, but I just need to do it!

 

Any goals for the winter season?

Can you share some tips for how to keep my house tidier? I need all the help I can get!

The Importance of Being Accountable

I am late in getting a post up this morning. I have had a cold for over a week now, and it is getting ridiculous. I was up a lot of the night coughing, so my husband decided to take a sick day today and hang out with Lochlyn so I could get some rest. I slept in really late, which was awesome after not getting any sleep the night before. Now I am sitting at my computer with a warm mug of coffee in my P.J.’s while I type this post. I am really hoping that a relaxing day will be just what the doctor ordered.

coffee computer

I have a bit more serious of a post for you guys today. I want to talk about the subject of accountability, and especially how it can help you to overcome struggles in your life. As many of you may know from reading My Story, I have struggled with disordered eating in the past, and am working on healing this issue in my life. One area in particular that I struggled with and kept a secret was obsessive dieting. This eventually led to some serious binge eating, which I also made sure to keep a secret.

When I finally came clean and told my husband that I was dealing with these issues a huge load was lifted off my shoulders. It was really hard for me to tell Josh, because I knew that if I told him, I would have to work on fixing this problem. If I told Josh that I was eating everything in sight whenever he went out for the night, he would start keeping me accountable and checking in with me. Telling Josh was me making a choice to get this problem out of my life. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t healed overnight. Telling someone didn’t make the problem go away, but it was me making a conscious effort to deal with it. To recognize that it wasn’t okay, and that there was actually something wrong.

Josh and I still talk about my eating issues fairly regularly. I have been telling him about the book Intuitive Eating that I have been reading, and how I have been doing lately. If I have a particularly bad day when it comes to food, whether it be with dieting or overeating, I make sure to tell him. After I had Lochlyn I started getting back into the dieting mindset because I wanted to lose some extra baby weight. I didn’t tell Josh at first, and kept it a secret, until it got a little out of hand, and I was finding myself overeating again. One sign that you are doing something that isn’t good for you, is keeping it a secret from people that love and care about you.

quote 2

It is important to tell someone that cares about you and wants the best for you when you are struggling with something. They will recognize that whatever destructive behaviour you are participating in, is not good for you. They will help you to deal with this issue in your life and continually look for signs that show how you are doing.

I was recently talking about this subject with someone that I am close to that has struggled with, and overcame bullimia. She kept her eating disorder a secret for years and years before finally coming clean to her husband. It took even longer for her to tell other people about it. She told me that now when she shares her story, she feels like it not only helps others, but helps her too, because sharing it makes sure that she never falls back into the same destructive behaviour again.

I can relate to this with drinking. People that are close to me know that I struggled with abusing alcohol in the past. I have quit drinking for about 7 years now, but it is still something that i am very careful about. Whenever I tell someone that I used to have a drinking problem, it means that if that person cares about me, they will keep me accountable around alcohol.

Another great example of this happened when I wrote my Fall goals. My husband read that post without telling me, and then confronted me on something that I discussed in that post. I mentioned that I wasn’t reading my Bible lately and that it was something that I wanted to do more of. Reading the Bible is something that both Josh and I take pretty seriously and consider to be an important part of our lives. I don’t read the Bible because I feel like I have to, but because I want to, and I recognize that I am a better, happier, and more grounded person when I do. Josh asked me about this and we talked together about my plan on how I was going to start reading again. Being open and honest about areas of our life that we aren’t happy about provides a way to make them better! Josh didn’t accuse me of anything, but asked me about the issue because he loves me and only wants what is best for me.

It is human nature to hide our struggles and imperfections. I have a hard time with being open and honest with other people. I am much better at sweeping my problems under the rug and forgetting about them, but then they never seem to go away. Getting them out in the open and dealing with them, with the help of others, is so much better!

This is also a good reminder to not be judgemental of others if they confide in you. I think the best and most healing thing you can do is to love on other people, especially when they are struggling with areas of their life.

funny wedding kiss

 

 

Has being accountable to people helped you deal with any personal struggles?

Are there areas in your life that you have kept hidden from other people?

 

Last-Minute Fall Goals

Happy Halloween! Hope you guys have a fun night planned! I think Josh and I might take Lochlyn trick-or-treating to a few friends houses to show her off. I hope she is feeling better so we can go. After Lochlyn goes to bed I am hoping for a movie night. Amanda inspired me to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas!

baby with a cold

My sick little girl, all bundled up

Today I want to talk about goals. Goals are a bit of a tough subject for me. I am very much a type A personality, and a perfectionist. I don’t like to set goals that I could potentially fail at. Usually, if I don’t follow-through with a goal perfectly, I give it up altogether and forget about it.

I think that it is human nature to always want to be improving. This can be a good and a bad thing. I don’t want to constantly be striving to be something else, and to not enjoy where I am at in life at the moment. At the same time, there are areas that I want to work on in order to improve my life, and the lives of those around me.

I have seen other bloggers post monthly goals and I think it is a good way to stay accountable. I can’t change my mind about these goals once I have posted them on the Internet, can I? I plan on making goals that will challenge me, which I accept means that I won’t always be perfect at trying to follow them. I usually try to live a pretty intuitive life, and don’t love the idea of setting a bunch of “rules” to control me. These goals are more like guidelines. I don’t want them to be set in stone 100% of the time, but they are things I think that will make my life better.

I feel like I could make a super long list of what I want to accomplish in this next season, but I am choosing to keep it short and sweet. It will be easier to accomplish my goals if I narrow them down to a few that are most important to me right now and that I really want to work on. Also, I was going to make these goals for the month of November, but I have decided to just plan on them being short term goals, and I will review at them in a few weeks and see how I am doing.

 

fall scarf selfie

So, here they are. My list of goals for the fall:

1. Start reading my Bible daily

I haven’t been consistent in reading my Bible for a couple of months and I miss it a lot. Reading it really helps me stay grounded in my relationship with God and recognize when I need a mindset shift. It helps me to stay positive and it is a great way to relax at the end of the day. I plan to read at the end of the day before bed. I usually spend this time checking the Internet on my phone, which I already do about a million times a day anyways.

2. Set time aside weekly to spend together as a family

I always have the best intentions to spend some quality time together as a family on the weekend, but life usually gets the better of me. I end up leaving groceries, food prep, cleaning, or whatever until the weekend, and then I don’t have the time to spend it with the people that matter most to me. Before we had Lochlyn, Josh and I always made Sunday our “family day”. We wouldn’t make plans with friends during the day, or do work around the house. This was our designated day to spend together. I want to keep this tradition, even if we only get to spend an hour or two together, rather than the whole day.

I am going to start doing groceries on Fridays or Saturdays, and make an effort to keep Sundays open. I also will start planning things we can do together as a family, like go for walks, go swimming, or even just go out for a coffee date. This Sunday we are going to the Christmas Market in town! So excited! (The Christmas Market is like a farmer’s market, but with Christmas stuff!!)

family pose in brandon

3. Get back into running

I mentioned in this post that I am thinking about running a 10K in the spring next year. I am starting to consider running a half marathon after the 10K too, we will see. I haven’t done very much running since before I got pregnant, and I want to get back into it. I plan on starting to run three times a week. I want to build up my endurance, and see if I enjoy it enough to train for a half marathon. I actually started adding running into my workouts this week (before Lochlyn got sick!) and I am loving it!

4. Unplug from technology

On Wednesday I found myself googling random things on my phone while Lochlyn and I were playing together … not cool. I was more interested in what I could look up on the Internet than in my baby girl. This is okay once in awhile, but I had spent most of the afternoon on the computer already during her naps, and I was looking up things that I didn’t even care that much about. I find myself on my phone countless times during the day, including when I am eating, or even while I am brushing my teeth. This is craziness. How can I expect my little one to not be technology crazy when she sees me constantly on the Internet?

My goal is to set technology aside while I am spending time with other people. This could be my husband, my baby, other friends and family, or even strangers. I think we can use our phones in particular as a way to avoid conversation with someone we don’t know. For example, I see so many people at the gym that are always glued to their phones between sets – what are they looking at anyways? I think that it is a way to avoid contact with others around you. So, for now, the internet on my phone is for morning and evening nursing sessions (Lochlyn takes 30-40 minutes to eat, so I use this time to catch up on other blogs and social media). The rest of my day is for my family, friends, and for myself!

5. Pay more attention to my body’s hunger and fullness cues

I have mentioned Intuitive Eating on the blog a few times. I am currently reading this book and am really liking it.

intuitive eating book

I have been paying a lot of attention to how I eat and why, and I am noticing that I am not very good at feeding my body when it is hungry, and at stopping when I am full. I think this is because I have spent so many years dieting, and completely ignoring what my body wants and needs. This month I want to be more conscious of how my body is feeling before I eat, and on feeding it when I am hungry, and stopping when I am satisfied.

I thought about keeping a food journal to record this, but to be honest, I suck at food journals. This goes back to my perfectionist, type A personality, combined with being a busy, on-the-go mom. Sometimes I just don’t have time to write in a journal. When I don’t write in the journal, my perfectionism kicks in, says I have failed, and it all goes out the window. Rather than keeping a journal, I am just going to take a moment before eating to pay attention to what my body is feeling. I also plan to take breaks while eating to check in and see whether or not I am full yet.

My goal of unplugging more from technology should help me with this. It will be easier to pay attention to how my body is feeling when I am not distracted by my phone!

Honorable mentions

I had to include this section because I am ridiculous and could probably make 20 goals if I allowed myself. These are more task-oriented things that I would really like to get done this month. Since I only allowed myself five goals, if these don’t get done, that is okay too!

– Get the majority of my Christmas shopping done (this is a big stretch – I am a late Christmas shopper, and now I have a baby!)

-Figure out what I am going to do for an income in January when my maternity leave payments are done (Talk to my old employers to see if there is the option to work there part time while Josh isn’t working)

-Get our old car towed from the back yard (Our Ford Escort has been sitting in our yard for over a year now, it needs too much work to sell it, but I want to get it towed before winter)

old ford escort

-Set up an RESP account for Lochlyn (this has been a goal for over 6 months now!)

I plan to write a follow-up post on these goals at the end of fall, or around the beginning of December. I guess fall is already almost over here, these goals are a little late coming, but better now than never!

 

What is one of your major goals for this next season? 

Food journaling? Am I the only one that can’t handle it?